#and i can't remember ever feeling so loved and connected to a fandom before

[averycutesalamander]

merry crimes from me and boothill 💝 i hope everyone has a fantastic day !! 💕

[god-i-hope-so]

Every time I read an anti-Bucktommy take it's like they don't understand what they're watching. Like, no understanding of how fiction works at all and a criminal lack of media literacy. And also unable to follow a simple story.

A tv show like 911 will never be like their favorite friends to lovers fics where everything they want to see on-screen is made into words, every little thought, every gesture is described in a flowery way, every single line is doctored to fit the fandom's expectations, using very specific tropes. This is fanwork, this is our business, we love it, we cherish it but this is our stuff.

911 is a tv show. It'll use many types of tv writing techniques to get to the point while having to deal with budgetary constraints, marketing needs, political restrictions and more. Could they have done a better job with reintroducing Tommy? Absolutely. Does it work as it is? Of course, if we're actually looking at what and how they tell on-screen.

A (long) BuckTommy timeline.

🚁 7x03 - Tommy and Buck meet on the day of the rescue, even before we see Buck, Chim and Eddie in the chopper. They first meet off-screen. We don't know what happened then, we don't know how they looked at each other, if they smiled at each other, if they even talked directly to each other. But they met before we see them in the chopper.

We know by what happens later that Tommy makes a strong impression on Buck (who is already in the middle of a real life crisis). We can also assume that Tommy is attracted to Buck based on his looks (and probably also affinity, they do the same job, never underestimate the homoerotic power of male camaraderie), something we also understand later, so it works (but also, the way he looks at Buck at the end of this episode is a subtle hint.) Don't forget that writers know in advance things we don't, that's why we can go back and find the breadcrumbs we didn't notice before or couldn't make a connection with yet.

🔥 Buck wants to know more about Tommy and his work. This is where you, as the audience, should fill the gap based on what we saw before and what comes next. This is where you should be able to do that instead of wanting everything on-screen the same way you put everything in a fanfic. This gap you fill because you're supposed to understand how average tv storytelling works leads to the following point.

🚁 7x04 - Buck contacts Tommy, he gets to visit Harbor. At this point, we can clearly see Tommy is acting flirty in a very subtle and respectful way, because he doesn't really know what's the deal with Buck, but remember the way he looked at Buck in 7x03? Then there's Buck acting... weird. What's his real purpose here? And this was before he even knew Tommy and Eddie were BFF, so Buck was already attracted to Tommy whatever his connection with the 118 crew, even if the real reason was blurry even to Buck himself.

🔥 7x04 - Tommy is now someone they interact with regularly. Tommy is now slowly working his way (back) into the 118 group. He finds a good friend in Eddy (strangely I don't see anyone questioning that. How is that easier than having a simple, passive crush?), apparently spends a lot of time with him, and knows Christopher because he went to Eddie's house 3 times. Eddie definitely knows more about Tommy than Buck at this point.

🚁 7x04 - Buck is clearly troubled by Tommy. Then there's this whole jealousy circus going on, Buck is a mess, his insecurities are breaking the roof and he's more troubled than ever. Is he jealous of Eddy or Tommy? Or both? (it's both) He wants to be the center of the attention. If he feels he's losing this, people will discard him. So he does some stupid shit. And you can see his feelings are also all over the place. But there's more than just fighting for attention, and that's probably why he's slowly starting to be angry. Because what he feels is different and he can't put his finger on it.

The discussion with Maddie clearly shows how he's chewing on his own heart. He didn't want what he had to change and he acted like a kid with big feelings and little control of himself.

🔥 7x04 - Tommy, who's having a passive crush on Buck, takes the matter in hands and kisses him. Tommy having a crush is not less normal than Buck flirting with basically any cute girl showing interest in him. Being more mature, he meets Buck to set things straight, after having talked about it with Eddie. It's not out of nowhere. Eddie and Tommy are not stupid, and Eddie knows Buck. He saw something was wrong. Tommy, being the new addition to their dynamic, thought it was his fault (I think Eddie and Tommy really felt guilty about going to Vegas and leaving Buck just like that lmao That was so bad for Buck's confidence, I felt it in my bones). Excuses turn to clearing the air turn to let's go for it.

Tommy really took a gamble there. If Buck wasn't what he thought he was, it could have been so bad. So, so bad for Tommy and his job. Imagine Buck accusing Tommy of assault? But he took the risk of kissing him because he has more experience and knows how to read the signs. He's not 15, he has experience with men, and closeted men for sure.

And you know, this is a beautiful scene for Buck as a character. The way he realizes why he did all that, what it means about him, for him. I mean, he knew, in a way, but he didn't know. And Tommy was suddenly everywhere in his life, overwhelming while doing nothing. You have to understand that everything is happening in Buck's head and he needed just a little push to open his eyes.

Buck's queer path: unlocked.

🚁 7x05 - First date, first mess but also first lesson. At this point, you can't even doubt about Tommy's intentions anymore. Buck might still be in a blurry phase but Tommy is not sending mixed signals at all (not with that choice of shirt, let me tell you this. My man was set to hit that night). Buck panicked, Tommy even tried to keep him on tracks for the evening, but between meeting Eddie and what it made Buck say... I mean, Tommy could have had a stronger reaction. Why accept the date if you can't deal with it?

But Tommy knows why, he's been there. Buck liked the idea of the date, but once you're there, everything becomes real. So once again, a little push: Tommy is honest and prefers to part ways, but not without saying why. He's not even mad. At this point, Buck really needs to take another step. It's difficult to drag someone else into your own fog. He has all the rights to be troubled, to doubt, to be scared, but you don't drag someone else in this with you. Tommy protected himself from that, also protected Buck from doing something he'd regret, and he did it with guidance.

🔥 7x05 - Buck talks with Maddie about his date and comes out to her, but more importantly: Buck comes out to Eddie. Look. This is canon, and I know we can choose to ignore canon but both scenes are great. And it's still canon. Maddie is obviously accepting and happy for Buck, and we expected no less from her.

With Eddie, I honestly expected at least some discussion like are you sure? or something like that but I think that at this point, everyone at the 118 knows that there's more to Buck than meets the eye. I'd have loved this scene to be longer with more exchange between Eddie and Buck but it is what it is, and Eddie is supportive of his best friend (yes, sorry, their canon relationship is best friends and I love their friendship, even more now that Buck is out).

And yes, this is even more important to show not only a strong friendship between a supposedly cishet man and a bisexual man but also, and we'll see that later, Eddie still trusts Buck around Chris. Nothing changed. So many people associate queer people with predators, we need to see queer people, and especially queer men, being trusted around children, and being safe. This is the right representation.

I know bvddies are trying to find any reason to make this storyline choice look like shit, because they want their ship to sail (and I completely understand wanting that), but accusing the people who like Buck and Tommy together of being homophobes because they cherish the canon beautiful friendship between Buck and Eddie?? We're not talking about headcanons here, about reading between the lines, or being "coded" a certain way (sorry, for me Eddie is not gay-coded. He's a-spec for sure, and I'm going for being demi, but gay? I don't see it anymore at this point of the show). It's about the canon. You know, at this point, things are already moving into place, even if you don't like Buck and Tommy together. This is where canon is at, this is the story. It's not a personal attack against anyone in the fandom.

🚁 7x05 - Buck wants to apologize to Tommy for the failed date, and for his behavior. Oh, accountability, my beloved. We love to see Buck working on himself. This is the real start of whatever will happen from now on between Buck and Tommy. Buck knows he's ready to embrace this new part of himself and he feels like Tommy is the right person to do that with.

Tommy being Tommy, he makes sure Buck knows what all this means. Buck is not a teenager, Tommy treats him as an equal but he also knows how it feels to be in Buck's shoes.

🔥 7x06 - Tommy, a responsible adult, makes time for Buck (and Chim!) even when he clearly could, and maybe should, just decline. This part was used way too often against Tommy by BoBs. Tommy is a fire pilot on call the night of the bachelor party. A FIRE PILOT ON CALL. Do you think his main goal that night is to have fun? Or is it to be a responsible adult who could well be saving lives (while risking his) the same night? Do you know what it means to be on call? You're basically working without being at work, the second your job needs you, you have to be 100% ready. Again, he's a fire pilot (even if he's also sent on ground work that night). His first job would be to pilot a freaking helicopter and accomplish tasks that requires skills, precision and to not be half asleep. You don't play with that responsibility.

So Tommy showing up is indeed huge. He does it for Buck, and for Chim, but definitely for Buck in the first place. He could have stayed home to get some sleep while waiting. Instead of that, not only he doesn't sleep but he ends up fighting a fire for hours. And the first thing people used against him was that he didn't follow the dress code?! No, you guys need to grow up and live a bit more of real life.

And then we have The Kiss (please someone draw them as The Kiss by Klimt, every fandom needs its Kiss fanart). And once again, it's Tommy making time for Buck, and Chim, when he could be home, take a good shower and be in his cozy bed after working on a fire for more than what, 14 hours? This is a man who knows his priorities. And responsible men are sexy as hell, even when it means they can't have fun like everyone else.

Now, if after all this, and mind you, this is all canon, you still think Tommy is a fraud in this storyline, that his budding romance with Buck has no foundation or that he doesn't care about Buck? And don't even get me started on the "but he was a racist and a misogynist before". Yes, he was. And yes, he changed. Like I said: learn to know his character, but also trust Hen. The fact is that at this point of the story, Tommy is great for Buck. He's kind, he's safe, he's trying even when there's no expectations. Be happy for great representation.

Oh, and don't use your hate against the ship or Tommy to be a nasty little shit with the actors and writers. Decency is free.

[archivalofsins]

Hiya! I've been really enjoying your posts for the last year. I would spend my mornings or afternoons' reading over so much of what you've written, though I don't like stuff cause I was worried it would be too spammy. I love sm the different perspectives on Prisoners I've seen through your work, love how you look at Yuno's and Fuuta's crimes, your stuff with Kazui and how you've approached (my fav) Mahiru's crime. Also more general, dissociation gang, looking at the split of prisoners (oh no accident vs active killing) I'm baffled at how little notes you have on some of your posts when I've found them very insightful. Also love how you colour-code text, very neat and makes long posts easier to read! Before encountering your blog I just kind of looked at youtube comments for help understanding the prisoners' crimes, but your analyses are so much more concise and interesting.

apologies if this is weird, thank you sm for all you do!

Firstly, I’d like to say thank you! It makes me happier than anyone could ever know to be told in such detail how much you’ve enjoyed my work and for how long. I especially appreciate the detail you’ve gone into. I love hearing the points that people like about my work and it’s kind of a walk down memory lane to read in a way.

That's why I want to take this time to- I also wanted to highlight some of the other people that have added so much of their own time and personal flair to the Milgram community on Tumblr!

7-4-N

Not a creature, not a specimen, not a being. Do not refer to this existence at all but if you really must Tsumi or 74 can work well enough. Just know your social constructs won’t stick. This being doesn’t adhere to such things. After all happy or sad why decide. One of many fans of Yuno Kashiki. This blogger puts on full display the many social boxes society creates and tries fit the prisoners into. Sometimes even the ones the prisoners try to fit themselves into as well.

Characterization analysis and art mix together to create a truly unique experience-

Theory on what Amane's cult is based on

I wrote something on the post itself but this was really good! I enjoyed reading it a lot for personal reasons. It presents the religions in a very nuanced and unbiased way without sugarcoating anything. Ultimately a very nice collaborative effort that gives a lot to chew on.

Yuno is a "side/supporting character" post

Tsumi is also in charge of their very own Milgram- Tsumigram! Remember what Jackalope said,

"Don't go messing up my (or other people's) Milgrams!"

Tsumi sometimes translates analysis into other languages and has hosted some really fun fandom events. 74 has always tried to create an environment where everyone is able to feel comfortable and have fun together. In a way it’s no surprise Tsumigram is the way it is.

Its focus on communication and the connections between people showcases 74’s willingness to put forth the effort to understand others. Even when things aren't going smoothly. Even more so to the fear and vulnerability that can be created through knowing and being known by someone else. Along with the worry of what one knows about someone becoming obsolete due to that person changing and growing as all people do.

Tsumi understands the problems that can come about when communicating.

How one can try their best and still end up being scorned, ridiculed, misunderstood, or misinterpreted. Recognizing those sorts of things are just as much a part of life as anything else and can give one the freedom to try simply for the sake of trying. Not because it will led to a positive outcome. Sometimes we can't please everyone. People will butt heads.

That’s natural.

None of us can avoid doing things we can't take back, things others may never be able to forgive us for, or understand. Even so that doesn’t change what we as individuals are capable of. Tsumi showed that all it took for fun things to happen was taking that first step and asking if anyone would like to do something together.

Because if no one ever asks then no one can get an answer.

It’s difficult to put oneself out there in such a way to so many people. It could go wrong and when things go wrong as they so often are inclined to- One may feel like they should stop putting themselves out there all together.

That closing off is a good answer. Possibly the best answer one can see in that moment. I know I’ve felt that way. That I’ve backed down, secluded myself, and hid away my opinions while avoiding stressors. It's easy to say to others or even oneself get back on the horse and keep trying.

Yet the truth is time to on one's own is important and can be productive. It can give us the time we need to process the experiences we’ve had recently and collect our thoughts. Then when one is ready that person can come back far better than when they left. Even as true as that is, it’s still important to take caution and not worry about bringing the best of ourselves in everything we do.

Because this idea that we have to meet everyone at our very best can be isolating and tiresome. Sometimes even though it may be hard to believe just showing up is enough. Just a small greeting is enough. It's important to recognize that what we may do that we view as trivial could be everything to someone else.

Tsumi shows me through persistence and compassion that even the tiniest gestures can be cause for celebration.

That things don’t have be grand to matter. No one has to overheat to feel love or freeze to feel loneliness. That both those things make up warmth. That said warmth can be comforting and disgusting all at once. Through Tsumi's presence I’ve gotten to learn the value of multitudes again. Instead of just being interested in the same old thing.

Which I greatly appreciate and believe many others could too.

amugoffandoms

With a mug full of passion and the drive to see what they start through this fandom regular probably needs little introduction. Yet, for those who don’t know I’ll give it my best shot. Stating she’s the number one Yuno fan would be an understatement. I’d need a new title entirely to explain her earnest affection towards one of the most drastically overlooked and prone to oversimplification characters within this series.

Man, Mug and Tsumi both have it tough- Having a fave that’s critically underrated... That’s looked at as an easy open and shut case. Regardless, Mug through their art, writing, and ever-present enthusiasm manages to highlight the subtleties of Yuno’s characterization.

Love Bullet Yuno, Tear Drop redraw, Rookie Yuno

The use of childhood games/questions in Yuno's songs

Yuno looking unusually cold on her second trial cd cover

Mortuus ES, Ergo Ego Mortuus Sum, Fell and Found Out

Outside of taking an interest in all things Yuno- Mug draws, does analysis, and writes fanfiction.

Cyberpunk Dead Boy Fuuta

The Machiavellian concept and how it can apply to Milgram

Ace of Spades and how it foreshadows Hinako's fate

Sing Your Sins!, Press Rewind

They’re even the host of her very own milgram Mugram. Admittedly all of the kids there are troublemakers. A rather eccentric bunch but none of them seem to have done much particularly bad. A lot of what they do seems to be related to their work or how they make a living in general (if they can’t call it work). Though those could just be the characters I decided to focus on. I do find that pattern interesting though. Fan Milgrams are really good at homing in on specific societal issues.

Their writing has a good grasp of imagery. Usually setting up scenes in a way that makes it easier for readers to visualize. When it comes to her art their expression work has great emotional depth conveying feelings in a direct manner.

coffee-without-anesthetics

No painkillers and all energy!

Itha has been around in the community for what feels like before I was here, but I’m actually its senior by a year. Maybe I’ve been here too long… Let’s not dwell on that! I don’t remember a time when it wasn’t here or exactly when it showed up. Giving it this very ageless entity feel that is honestly goals.

Sometimes I just want to phase into existence and out too!

Still just because not many were there to witness its first light doesn’t mean this star burns any less! Its a regular within the fandom that needs very little introduction at this point. If it isn’t talking about Lies of P it can be found just actually blogging generally- Seeing anything come across my dash with that familiar Es icon is a breath of fresh air for me. (Though its icon has changed now.)

Now hold on you didn’t think that was all-

It does translations and art! Translating fanfics from English to Polish or French with the creator’s permission. Well, if you ever feel like translating any of my Milgram ones you’ve got my permission for that. Though… that would quite an undertaking considering how much I write, hm.  Ah- This isn’t about that right now… Sorry.

Its also into Arcane, House MD, The Magnus Archives, Mathematics- and Linguistics & Music. Here’s hoping Milgram and it remain a match made in heaven regardless of how hellish thing get~

DoctorBunny

Ahnnnn- What’s up doc? Now don’t let the name fool you this dude is a Haruka fan- and that diagnosis is lifelong. He’s also not a doctor yet! Curses you to more college- I’m joking, I’m joking! This is another milgram fandom regular who’s dabbled in a little bit of everything.

Art, analysis, translations, documentation- You name it he’s probably done it!

And done it well at that,

DoctorBunny is inquisitive, considerate, and welcoming to his peers in any fandom and anyone within this fandom as well. Always looking for a way to not only enjoy himself but make sure those around him are enjoying their selves too.

Milgram Earphone Translation

Milgram Hallucination Booklet Translation PT1

Milgram x Karatez Interrogation Questions

He’s been a mod on Milgram servers, done real time quick translations of the material, and just generally been a joy to get to know through this series. While he has his biases- He’s not afraid to interrogate them and look at things from different angles.

His thirst for knowledge has created space around him for the opinions of others while still holding consideration towards his own thoughts. He knows that sometimes leaving space for the idea that one’s interpretation may be wrong is not only a reasonable thing to do but the first step to figuring out what may be right. He is one of the people I discuss my posts with in advance. As well as discuss how I engage with media in general with.

Pretty daily at this point, actually. I hope my stubborn nature isn’t getting grating.

He once explained to me that because my wording can come off so adamant and certain in my convictions it can feel a bit overwhelming. Some may think that’s a bad thing but to me I thought it was a really great observation. It made me recognize that I do get incredibly caught up in my beliefs and am prone to speaking as though what I believe is the one obvious truth of the matter.

I can come off as really confident in my convictions because when I see something one way I can become blinded to the other ways it can be. Sometimes I do believe in my reading comprehension too much and that can be limiting. It can be off-putting. So, I’m glad I found a friend who can recognize and not get annoyed by that habit of mine when it comes to discussing media.

Especially since I can be a fast-paced talker and texter when super invested in something.

So, Bunny’s more relaxed and down to earth pace along with straightforward nature of being able to just simply go that isn’t what I meant I meant x. Is incredibly grounding. He brings that measured analysis and grounding personality into the fandom spaces he occupies through he’s leveled responses to media and willingness to meet his peers where they’re at. Rarely engaging with the points of others in bad faith but not letting himself be barreled over either. He's willing to hold space for others but will never compromise on what he believes fully is right.

On top of that he knows how to ask for help and when to be skeptical of what’s being presented and how something is being presented. Ultimately having internet and media literacy that far surpasses my own at times. This makes him an amazing person to have in any fandom and as a friend in general. Sometimes I get up in arms about something I’ve seen online because yes I can be reactionary and at those times I’ve gone off complaining about it and Bunny has more often than not managed to show me a new perspective I’ve never considered before.

It’s important to have people like that who can level you out and understand where you’re coming from especially in fandom a space that thrives off of eliciting a reaction at times.

His art style is dreamy having a lovely display of colors and lighting.

Haruka in pyjamas

When it comes to art he’s very versatile with a good understanding of lining, form, and style. Allowing for an astounding deal of variety between his pieces. His appreciation for drawing as a creative form is fully displayed in every piece he’s made. Though I think the best part is regardless of the drawing there always seems to be a bit of fun put into it!

Good-beans/ Good-beansdraws

Now this is a fandom regular that should need no introductions. She’s the guard of milgramblrgram and done it well at that! Not one person has died or gotten irrecoverably injured and that’s all due to her caring, compassionate, but fair guidance.

Balancing Mahiru’s bleeding heart with Kotoko’s drive for fairness.

She’s created an environment for a good majority of milgramblr to hone their talents and indulge their interests amongst peers with the same passion as themselves. It should be no surprise that this user inspires me every day to turn my words into action.

So, when I say it’s up to us to create a community worth being in those words don’t just sit there empty and I instead do things that highlight the talents and intricacies of the people who make this fandom the place it is for at times the better and the worst.

Because that’s what Milgram is about.

Taking the good, the bad, and ourselves all into consideration and looking for the best path forward together. It’s about realizing that in this life we won’t only see things we agree with, the things we think may not always be right, there are biases in us all that need unpacking and questioning.

Good-beans gives creatives in this fandom a space where they can explore these things within themselves through their many talents.

In everthing she does- She highlights what it means to form community out of fandom in every fandom that’s lucky to have her while still making space for herself and her own feelings about the works she enjoys. Being sure to share her views on the characters through her own headcanons and giving feedback on the writing and headcanons of others.

On top of that she creates a good deal of fanworks. Art and writing. Good-beans art reminds me a lot of graphic novels and western comics. Examples off the top of my head would be Stephen McCranie’s Space Boy, Eric Anthony Glover’s & Arielle Jovellanos’ Black Star, and W.I.T.C.H.

Mahiru Butcher's Vanity

Futa Indulgent Top 3 Redraw

If art isn’t your thing which in this age I seriously doubt it- But you know what they say a picture's worth a thousand words. I personally think that’s undercutting the value of words though. Well, that’s when it’s taken literally it’s more of a figurative statement implying that what a picture does all by itself would take a thousand words to describe in every detail if not more. So, if a pictures worth a thousand words then a hundred thousand words equate to one picture- Again if we’re taking it in the literal sense.

What I’m saying is if you’re looking for imagery then she’s got the words for that too. Sometimes all an artists needs is for a writer to create just the right words to show them something they never could imagine otherwise!

Lights, Camera, Sing Your Sins (A Milgram actor au where the audience gets to see the innerworkings of Milgram!)

So Morning Rise to Light Us (How do you spend your mornings. The time of day where it feels like no one else around. The prelude to everything else you'll do that- We hardly ever think about it but having a morning routine in Milgram must be hard, right? Some people can't handle one roommate let alone nine. This fic goes over the prisoners morning routines.)

himawari-candyy

Let’s keep this simple the way it always should’ve been.

Death, murder, direct, indirect, intentional or unintentional- The meaning of life after loss. Who gives a damn about any of that wax poetically elsewhere. Let’s call a spade a spade. No need to complicate matters.

Let’s all just take a breather and sit with the facts.

There’s a victim here, a life that could’ve been spared. Compared to that undeniable fact do the justifications of the living really matter? Do they matter enough to overshadow the life lost, what it was, what it could have been?

I mean those justifications can only be given because they’re still standing. All of them still have a life to live, something to go back, things to look forward to. In that sense the prisoners have been in the limelight far too long and many fans seem to agree-

Well, at least the number one Hinako fan does!

This girl knows in her heart that Hinako deserved better in every way! In the narrative, in life, and especially in screentime. So many prisoners have pleaded with the audience to think about their victims. *cough* *cough* Shidou trial one voice drama.

Eh-hem sorry that was weird.

Himawari-candy heard that plea and said ya know who deserves that sort of thought Hinako! Because- Damn it, looking at Shidou’s victims on an individual level is impossible even for him.

Q.02 What do you think of your victim?

Shidou: I don’t know who in particular you’re referring to.

Seriously people might just have to ask this man trial three what he thought of his patients to narrow things down. So, what the hell are fans supposed to do? Just make them up think of the families he hasn’t even bothered to mention other than offhandedly?

Every individual that has been notably displayed as a victim within the characters’ stories has fans and detractors just like the main cast. Taking a minute to put ourselves in the victims’ shoes can never hurt and can allow people to get a look at the whole situation. Let alone any member of this audience. We could all do with a little back to basic by asking ourselves what would we do in the victims' circumstances.

Because let's be honest more often than not we're putting ourselves in the position of the prisoners not the victims. Everyone wants to be the misunderstood one who stood up against an earthly injustice or evil but never the victim of someone who saw wrong where there was none. We all wanna be the tragic hero nobody wants to be just another person in the pile of bodies the tragic hero racks up though. No one wants to be the one killed for telling this tragic hero they may have strayed into evil or getting in their way.

People tend to want to be the one that lived. That's why it's so easy to agree with the prisoners sometimes. I mean who else is their to agree with. To the victor goes the spoils. Once the other party is dead the the one living can tell whatever story they want. The worse the victim could do if their grudge is heavy enough is haunt them. Most people that do these things are more afraid of being haunted than being caught for a reason.

So-

Take a walk down this alternative path covered with cute art and her bubbly disarming sociability. Unlike my more morbid and pragmatic speech her casualness makes this line of interrogation far more welcoming. She reblogs fan art others have made as well.

Her own art has a nostalgic look to it akin to a children’s book making the most unsettling things have a sparkle of familiarity and warmth.

Happy Valentines Day

A Heart like A Birds

Always a pleasure to see it making the rounds. Oh yeah, she’s a fan of Alien Stage too! I wonder who her favorites are?

Kyanako

Huh- what’s that sound? Mourning bells- Now, who on earth would… Eh- Ah, of course. Hey, now- Don’t fault the execution(s). Things ending (like lives) is what gives them meaning after all! Well-known for her inclination towards angst and as one of Amane Momose’s biggest fans/defenders.

Kyanako has a habit of exploring the good, the bad, and the angsty-

Order of Attack Banner

Order of Attack

Given her interests in Danganronpa, Your Turn to Die, as well as Long Live the Queen. She's definitely no stranger to dead ends. Hmm... Long Live the Queen, huh? I wonder if she could put some focus into Mu for a little bit to fling her in a Long Live the Queen au? Of course, Mu wouldn’t do the lumen route though.

When she’s not making the fandom a bit more lively with her presence Kyanako can be found enjoying her many ocs, appreciating and making music, and making some really cute clothes for her Milgram plushies.

She’s shown the prisoners hell and heaven alike.

The focus she puts into the interpersonal relationships between them before the collapse makes it all the more shocking when things finally come to their inevitable conclusion.

Conversations

Direct, prudent, and always welcoming she’s a joy to have in any fandom environment- But! Watch out just like Amane she gives as good as she gets.

6 MILLION VIEWS

Purge March Usurps MeMe

As one of the milgramblrgram prisoners she’s known for teaming up with others behind the scenes and sneak attacks galore- But; it’s all in good fun!

Huh, did any of you know about all the multitalented individuals in the fandom? Well, of course you did you’re all here as well! All of you are more here than I am. It must get daunting. It’s easy to get self-conscious when surrounded by talent on all ends.

Even easier to talk oneself out of trying but it’s important to remember that no one can provide your voice but you. It’s something wholly unique to yourself and at times that can be scary and sometimes you won’t always agree with or get along with others because of that uniqueness.

Hey, but it’s not scary- you know that right? It can’t be scary because it’s love! Putting our unique visions and feelings out there in the way that best represents and is most comfortable for us as individuals is the biggest form of self-love one can commit to. It’s something that everyone within this and any fandom chooses to do every day. Hitting those creative walls over and over feeling overlooked that’s an experience any artist is used to feeling be it with their original works or fanworks.

It's something every Milgram fan has become acquainted with due to the nature of the series itself. It incentivizes putting yourself out there in ways that one may have never done before otherwise. Kyanako has shown me in the way that she conducts herself what it means to be a fan of anything really. How being a fan isn’t about gatekeeping or knowing the one true reading it’s about allowing your passion for something to drive you and your interests to paths you may not have trodden otherwise.

Being a fan of something should invite a person to do things they’ve never done before. To look at something in new and interesting ways. It’s something that is more for the individual than the group at times. Kyanako reminds me that liking something quietly doesn’t diminish how much it’s liked. Through her plethora of interests outside of Milgram and her willingness to always look at something new.

I think taking a moment to remember that could be so comforting to a lot of people here just as it was for me.

Linabirb

It’s all systems go when this Amane and Mahiru fan arrives to the scene! This emperor of edits can do it all- Icons, stimboards, layouts for twitter and tumblr! If you can imagine it they can edit it- Just follow the rules alright?

Milgram EEO Collaboration Icons

Milgram Hallucination Icons

You do know what happens to rule breakers- Of course you do!

Their other main interests include Vocaloid, Project Sekai, Twisted Wonderland, and hoyoverse games! Whoa- hang on this little lady does chainsaw man edits too… I- I have something I need to think about.

Also the proud owner of a Milgram! Linagram-

Linagram in the style of the Second Anniversary Milgram Art

Maristelina

Ah, this guy- I don’t know much about them. Wait now; hold on! Just because I don’t know much doesn’t diminish any of her many contributions to this fandom. I’ve seen them in passing often and I really like the one post they did on Harrow with translations of the newspapers.

That definitely gave me a lot to chew on. Oh yeah and there was the second link which is my personal favorite of theirs.

She does art, translations, and a few theories here and there.

Milgram Portal Timeline Masterpost

Trial 1 Song of the Prisoners

One could say he was a little integral for the more than two alter Mikoto theory. Some may know their name from the posts they made on that back in the day.

But Gunsli- I thought you didn’t like that whole line of questioning, and I still don’t. Please don’t get it twisted. Then why- Hold on, hold on. I like information whether that information is contrary to what I know, believe I know, or personally feel is the case does not matter. I treat most information neutrally.

If there’s a way it can make sense I will fucking look for that way.

I’ll walk that bridge whether its with someone else or by myself I have walked that bridge.  Even though I can say I don’t see it. Some good points are made within a good deal of those posts, and they’ve undoubtedly contributed to this space.

Now I’m not singling Maristelina out by any means there are more people on this list that discuss this idea and present it through art. Like it is not personal I am just giving credit where credit is due. They provided a lot of information in regards to this that’s worthy of respect. Information I’m certain has contributed to many people’s enjoyment of this series and that character.

That’s something commendable. I will say I feel more depth could’ve been gone into in some of them and that it fell into a lot of the trappings that those conversations tend to.

Still for all their time spent doing what at times can be incredibly thankless work, his genuine love of the series, her immense persistence in displaying that love even when life starts being life. Maristelina without a doubt deserves many thanks from this fandom and me personally for always showing me something new and impressive.

Also like I said they make art as well- I really like the ways they use lighting it’s super comforting and can give off this fluffy feel at times that I’m partial to.

meowkusunoki

Some may know this user from its Milgram memes. Maybe even his enjoyment of the Evillious Chronicles which was the first thing to come to Star’s mind when she saw the name. Personally, since I am not in the tag often this is the first time I’ve been acquainted with a good few of the people on this list works.

I tend to stick to my little section, my little things, and not branch out too much.

So, I mostly know them as the creator of Dollgram,

First Trial Commencement Notice

An ocmilgram with some very good character amvs and art.

Right now, I would have to say my favorite character is Tadashi just because of how blatantly suspicious she is. She seems to be the sort of person who’s straight forward about their shortcomings despite trying to remain vague.

Very blunt which I like. The character dialogue is organic but feels like it could be flushed out more. The conversations are really engaging and the characterization shines through well. It gives off a feeling of idle chitchat well. I’d recommend checking it out. I had a lot of fun reading it.

Milk-ly

It’s your turn to- Create! If you’re reading all my ramblings, then I got no doubt you may enjoy hers as well! Always happy to start or contribute to a train of thought- if you’re looking to hammer out an idea this girl is the sort to start hitting out the dents with you!

Sweet and to the point she focuses on evening out the foundation of any idea. Fandom is a space where its quite easy to fall into a pattern of dismissing the opinions of others or getting defensive when someone else’s thoughts contradict your own beliefs.

Hell, not even in just in fandom in life it can be very difficult to allow new perspectives in.

Kotoko and Futa's connection to witch trials and werewolf trials

What one believes to be common can be completely foreign to another. Because at the end of the day we’re all living lives that will for better or worse be independent of anyone other than ourselves. So, it’s nice to have someone who’s willing to take a moment to make space for your ideas and discuss them.

For me that’s one of my favorite things even when people disagree with what I believe. Such as the Kazui situation. At the time it felt like a dogpile but I was really excited to hear everyone’s thoughts on it. The timing was simply not the most ideal with life stuff going on. It really gave me a lot to think about when it came to the depictions of instruments in art.

Plus, I got to have a lot of fun looking up instruments and trying to disprove myself in a way. But in hindsight I was pretty whiny heh-heh though I was happy to talk to the person about it and enjoyed her genuineness. That experience reminded me that well people aren’t our worst assumptions and viewing things differently from each other is and should be enriching not degrading or disparaging.

Milk-ly is someone I’ve enjoyed seeing in the fandom because she’s a relaxing presence and tries to give everyone a fair shake. I respect that a lot. Especially when I recognize my own immatureness at times when it comes to presenting myself and my own views.

I can’t help but be impressed by her.  

Regardless of how turbulent online spaces can be she’s been a chill presence all while providing sweet art and good laughs!

Mikoto art and memes

Any fandom is lucky to have someone like her in it. She’s into Your Turn to Die as well maybe one day I’ll go back and do that rhythm game.

Monopoisonous

Poison can be sweet in small doses. Don’t worry, don’t worry- Things haven’t reached the point of lethality yet. Known for their expert use of colors and grasp of anatomy- It’s a bit scary when this resident Mikoto fan goes all out, right?

Yuno art

Mikoto art

It’s an overwhelmingly unique style that blends realism and animation influences together in all the right ways. Hopefully they don’t end up overdosing on Mikoto content before making more~

I wanted to say more so I came back and said more! It's rather clear that Monopoisonous has a solid sense of artistry. It can be easy to take the art at face value simply because of how good it is. To me it comes off as perfectly balanced at times. The structure leans more into realism with a good understanding of the human form.

The anatomy, use of colors, and shading immediately make the art stand out their's to me whenever I see it. They're also a Kagepro and Project Sekai fan. I really liked their Mikoto Additional Memory art. I wish I could say more but I truly am at a loss for words.

Mulling-over-milgram

Casually punctual this Milgram focused blogger analyzes, draws and has even created their very own Milgram- Chromogram!

Squares

Where it’s up to the reader to discern what the prisoners have done through a series of websites. A beautiful combination of graphic design, storytelling, and the old fashion website formats come together masterfully in this new prison.

Except there’s a twist in order to move forward here one party must be found guilty. Whomever the majority of guards find innocent will be innocent and the person who fails to meet the majority’s expectations will be guilty by default.

It’s a bit of a strange balancing act where one party needs to look bad for the other to appear good.

I don’t know how well it will turn out though. Some people have more of an advantage than others going off of the first pair on trial. It’d be very easy for some to view one party as helpless to their circumstances and the other as an instigator or complicit.

I’d be surprised if the verdict there is even close. Though maybe others would disagree. Take a look at it for yourselves and come to your own conclusion. Regardless of the conclusion one ends up drawing it’s a hell of an experience all the same.

Their art style is very reminiscent to some old school visual novels. Well, at least to me it’s giving off that sort of vibe. It really adds to the atmosphere of their Milgram. Oh yeah- In general they seem to have structured way of presenting their thoughts online that sometimes breaks into a more casual tone. They tend to elaborate in a grammatically correct way hence the casually punctual.

It was more about punctuation than timing ha…bad joke, huh?

Alright, alright I get it fandom is filled with a lot of talented visual artists and people who can hold a writing utensil better than I can. The amount of art people have access to at the swipe of a finger can feel daunting. One might just figure it’s easier to just find a singular artist to stick to and call it a day.

Ya, know like how some may enjoy the illusion of choice more than the actual ability to choose.

An abundance of artists in any area is a good problem to have. It can foster variety and ingenuity when engaged with in good conscience. It’s easy to take visual art for granted when we’re all exposed to it so often. Even those who create can fall into the trap of comparisons and end up discouraging themselves. But-

Art appreciation is a skill one must hone for themselves not only as a creator but as a viewer. It’s easy to look at a piece and stay ignorant of the process it took to get there.

It's easy to like something in passing but much more difficult to enjoy something wholeheartedly without pause and show that for all to see. The milgram fandom is lucky to have visual artists from around the globe who won’t hesitate to make their appreciation of the series known through their works.

But Gunsli it’s soooo much art it’s so many links- what a modern society problem to have back in Kazui’s day they didn’t have art. Why do you think colonizers stole so much of it? It was hard out there they had to find that shit in caves and call it history.

“I can’t, I can’t take it anymore.”

Aw come on don’t be that way. The best sort of person is the type who can tell someone every little reason they like something. What have none of you ever looked at a piece of art and gone more than wow nice. Instead said something like the use of colors is amazing, it gives off the feeling of a lazy afternoon, the anatomy gives off a loose unimpeded feeling, the rigid use of lines adds to the constricted atmosphere.

Come on go a little further why don’t you- Like our next artist!

Nomeniko

Now here’s a person that knows how appreciate art just as much as they make it!  

Not only do they create amazing works but he also reblogs a good deal of art from others. She’s art appreciation embodied- It’s pretty amazing to be someone who not only creates but can see the value and beauty in the creations around them. People tend to forget that before creating comes appreciating- Ah, there’s so many works I’ve appreciated in my short life and I’m looking to enjoy many more.

Amane's birthday conversation (2024)

Mikoto system art

When it comes to posting he's got a pretty lax cadence that matches the casualness of their blog well. As for their art this is another nostalgic homerun being a bit reminiscent of FLCL and OFF. The emphasis of their art comes through in the forms with stunning gestures that manages to display movement and feel in a way that can be striking or comforting depending on the overall tone of the piece.

All that to say it’s really good. Sorry, I look at a lot of art but my descriptors can be quite lame- Plus I can compare a lot. I hope that’s not offensive to anyone’s efforts.

Polarmary

This person is never Vi-ing for anyone’s attention. Straight forward and earnest when it comes to her interests, she can be found displaying her enjoyment of Milgram, Arcane, and Kotoko in particular. With occasional post about their day to day here as well. She’s got an style that’s well to put it bluntly they’ve got a range. With a good understanding of form and lighting their art can go from cold and stoic to warm and fluffy.

Deep Cover Kotoko

Girls night

My personal favorites are their animal drawings, the one of the hippo is very cute. Oh then there’s the one with the girls having a sleep over- Plus, the one where Kotoko just adopts a wolf cub. Personally, I think if she just did that she wouldn’t be here but that’s neither here or there. (Give Kotoko and Futa emotional support pets. It’s always correct.)

Fun fact my favorites from Arcane are Jinx and Ekko.

I find this fact fun mostly because I think the reputation I’ve garnered from being in the Milgram fandom is people assuming that I just hate girls and are harsh on them for no real reason. Sometimes all while assuming my gender. My friends find this understanding very funny given what I tend to let slide- and their impression is I am,

Too naïve.

Too forgiving.

Usually, I’m taking Milgram so seriously or being critical as some may see it because that’s how I engage with and enjoy engaging with media. Milgram just happens to invite that sort of scrutiny. I’m pleasantly surprised to see so many people in this fandom are also into Arcane.

Purgemarchlockdown

Are you locked in yet? Well; are you locked in yet?

I can't hear you- Because this is a prewritten text interaction, and I literally cannot hear you and you can’t hear me. Huh I wonder what it sounds like when each of you is reading this internally what type of voice is given to me- Well that’s not important the fact is your eyes are on it and that means you're still reading.

I bet some of you may be wondering what exactly are you trying to sell us on here Gunsli?

What are you trying to accomplish through propping up these other fans. That’s exactly the thing I’m trying to accomplish though. Propping up fans. The one's that have made this environment what it is outside of myself. The people that elevate other people’s perspectives to make something greater than the sum of its parts.

The Milgram staff tries its best to give attention to its fans regardless of where they’re from. Yet, the truth is there are still barriers between the staff in their global audience. Their efforts to include overseas fans with everything is commendable. However, I want people to know there are other things they can do to show appreciation not only towards the pieces of media they may enjoy but the people they enjoy those things with.

It doesn't have to be like this.

Anyone can show their appreciation of other fans in ways that are completely unique to them. There are so many examples. Hosting games, having holiday events, art trades… Those are all things fans have hosted to make this experience more fun for everyone here. Even just sending a few kind words like the ones I received can mean so much.

To quote a certain piece of media “Without love, it cannot be seen”.

There's no one that knows this better than Purgemarchlockdown. It understands the weight of words more than most here. It knows that words have power. That a promise is a promise and that’s it. Generally referred to by Nott it has shown me the importance of not only recognizing the weight of your own words but the weight of the words the people around me use as well.

That one can recognize intent and impact simultaneously.

Regardless of what you’re interested in there’s a mindset specific to you and you alone that only entered this world when you did. Thinking on one’s own, liking, disliking to the point of tunnel vision- Those conversations, disagreements, and thoughts only you can have. The limits in ourselves only we can see.

That’s the thing we all bring to the table in any situation.

So,being able to take a step back and recognize one’s own intent in comparison to the impact one may have had. It’s important. Because no one can ever guess how someone else will take them. Everyone wants to be having fun but they can never really tell the point where that fun has become at someone else’s expense.

It’s easy to tote around values one never has to follow through on.

Easy to type a few simple words about how one doesn’t have to forgive their abusers or be near them, intrusive thoughts don’t define a person, promote one’s self as a safe space for people of color and the marginalized. Claim solidarity when all one wants is the accolades from seeming progressive for appearing kind. But it’s important to be able to wade through the bullshit and see how the people that one shares a space with actually treat marginalized individuals, how they respond to people they claim they’re a safe space for whether those people disagree with them or not, where’s their line at do they care about everyone or only those who agree with them.

How solid is our compassion, how firm are these things we think should be the natural course of things. Do we stand on it when we say it’s harder to be kind than it is to be cruel or when things get hard do we commit to the easy way. Mercy, kindness, active listening and empathy isn’t easy- Sin isn’t easy.

The impact we all have on the people around us isn’t easy.

At a point I had to learn I needed to stop holding my intent in higher regard than my impact. I had to look at how I responded to things and extend mercy to myself for the ways I fall short my own expectations and think about how what I do impacts others. All while understanding that doesn’t mean the intent doesn’t matter anymore.

Yet, the one thing remains true.

If one spends all their life worrying about how they’ll be taken, if something is too much or too little, if they should check in on someone that’s having a hard time or not because of how appropriate they think it may be…

No one gets help from that. No one benefits from someone squashing their own concerns.

Bravery to me is the ability to say I see someone is having a hard time and though it may make life a little more difficult for me or my attempts may be spurned I want to check if they’re okay. At the expense of my ego, even if I may not get answer, I want them to know how I feel and how even if briefly they made my life better.

It takes a lot of courage to put the ball in someone else’s court.

Just let go of control of a situation and meet someone where they are and hope they meet you back. Now you may be thinking,

“Gunsli what does that have to do with fandom- or the Milgram fandom specifically.”

A lot. It has a lot to do with fandom in general and the Milgram fandom. Yamanaka wrote these characters with the intent of them being like any other person in life. They aren’t meant to be viewed so two dimensionally regardless of what disorders or other issues they may have.

Kotoko and fascism

Power dynamics in Milgram

Every character is a full person with multiple ranges of emotions as well as beliefs. If we can’t treat the fans we share a space with like other complete human beings how can we in honesty give the same courtesy to the stories we enjoy. It’s easy to say this is simply the case. Someone is just x and this other someone is just y.

It’s easy to focus on compare and contrast reasoning. Yet, it’s harder to look at someone that one may disagree with and still ask,

"How is this person like me, though?"

Can we look past our egos? Can we stop allowing a character’s mindset to boost us up and validate ourselves. To make us feel good and secure in our existence because they get it this shows that people get it- And see these things for what they are?

Yes, it’s a glorious feeling to see someone write out exactly how one may have felt or has been feeling in any medium- But admiration is the furthest thing from understanding.

Feeling good is nice. Yet, knowing how and why something makes us feel good gives us all knowledge on ourselves. Knowledge that allows us to take a step back and recognize when our biases may be getting manipulated. Not just with Milgram but with things like-

Slay the Princess, Digimon, Umineko, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Puella Magi Madoka Magica- All things Nott brings the exact same energy it brings to Milgram to.

Because when one is able to recognize their likes and dislikes anyone is able to enjoy everything to the fullest like it can.

Create Girl Amane

House of Leaves Shidou

Vincord

Huh- Ah, hello to you! I hope your year has been going splendidly. Hm, I’m probably about to say something no one will understand other than me. Bu-but her art kind of reminds me of playing with clay! Ah how do I explain it. See this is what I meant in the last one about my way of describing art being weird.

I don’t describe it in the technical sense, I describe it based off the weight or feeling it gives off. I’m pretty sure Star doesn’t even understand this one and she’s proofreading. It’s like when I look at art I kind of think of it in the sense of what it would be like to touch. It gives off the firmness but flexibility of molding clay.

That’s been sculpted into a fine shape but could bend or break under the slightest pressure. It has a firm fragility to it that I really like, it’s rather impressive! It’s difficult to make something rigid but cushiony all at once. On top of that her expression work is really good too.

Princess Mononoke Yuno and Kotoko

When she’s not drawing fanart she can be found posting about her interests and talking about her ocs. I wish I talked about my ocs more openly! Hopefully you keep it up and all your years to come are better than the last.

Waivyjellyfish

She hardly ever stings with an affable way of speaking she makes waves in any fandom. One of Es’ biggest fans! It’s Waivy- Her art is very squishy. I’d say the feel of it is very reminiscent of flan. Since it doesn’t give off a feel as hard as jello or as soft as pudding this is a nice middle ground comparison.

Harlequin (Arlekino) Es

Es art

Her lining tends to be fluid causing it to catch the eye more easily. Even sketches end up having a nice yet not overbearing weight to them. Giving off a solid but squishy to jiggly feel. Now where Waivy's abilities shine through the most is with character designs, displays of movement, and perspective.

She’s great at drawing things in a way where one is easily able to pick up the mannerisms and movements of the subject. Meaning despite being still it still manages to feel very animated and lively. Her expression work also gives a good deal of incite into the characters making them easy to read from a glance.

This shines through the most with her ocs the Dokuro Family. Outside of drawing Waivy also does 3D printing. I’m a bit curious about how that goes in general since I don’t know much about it myself. She’s a 3D printer by specialty with a bunch of other media interests.

Some that I hadn’t heard for a while such as Katekyo Hitman Reborn (one day I will finish what I start that day won’t be today sorry Tsuna), One Piece (sorry Luffy), and Zenless Zone Zero to name a few.

My friend is into Zenless Zone Zero and I had the pleasure of seeing that all their sponsored ads on tumblr had been flagged for breaking community guidelines because I don’t know tumblr is a functioning website, I guess. This has nothing to do with anything it was just weird as fuck like what did this ad do?

It was every one of them on my mobile for a bit. Like I’m not complaining it was kind of like going ad free. Still weird none the less. So, I mostly know that one due to that. We were actually talking about the four horsemen of the apocalypse because of it recently.

Waivy sometimes writes as well but it’s rare. She tends to be a pleasure in the fandom and open to requests. Just don’t expect anything immediately and follow the rules!

Lastly, I know that it’s difficult to put oneself out there when it comes to communicating likes. It can feel embarrassing and cause a good deal of unwarranted anxiety to express positivity. Especially when one is uncertain of how the other party may take it.

As someone who gets anxious about doing those sorts of things myself, I can empathize. That or maybe I’m just projecting.

I’ve realized lately that it’s very easy for some to be dragged into a sandpit of negativity. It’s so much easier to give into to being critical when something strikes a nerve than to find anything good within it. It’s an honest but short-sighted response to a stimulus but that’s what makes it so human.

Contrastingly, people tend to put a lot more thought into being kind or showing positivity. So much in fact that they may talk themselves out of doing anything at all or convince themselves they’re doing too much. Just thinking about it can feel embarrassing and spark self-doubt like should I really be saying this, is it too much etc.

So, I wanted to make it clear that this wasn’t weird at all to me, and I greatly appreciate you spending your time on writing up such nice words for me. I know that it took a lot of time for me to answer. My apologies for that. Ultimately I saw this as a good opportunity to pay it forward and to show some respect to the others that make this fandom more unique.

Even if I don't engage with others often.

I hope that wherever anyone is at right now that we're all having the best new years eve or day that we can. That we go into the new year having learned more and looking forward to the amazing things to come regardless of the struggles that may crop up along the way. There are so many things that online creations can't convey be it a piece of art, analysis or a post, I hope in 2025 people are able to recognize the existences behind the screen more than the things they make on it.

That we all start appreciating and respecting each other more regardless of how close we may or may not be.

Though I know certain people would find that hypocritical coming from me. I'm not a saint and I don't forgive everything or everyone. Though the one thing I carry in everything I do is respect for the agency of others. I do believe fully I don't have to like someone to respect that they're alive and disliking them doesn't make anyone a object of my disrespect.

That's always how I'm gonna see it.

Outside of that I hope to get to spend a lot more time with Star while talking about things I enjoy. I want to make it clear this ask really made my year in a lot of ways. I'm not trying to be holier than thou or force some air of false positivity. I really do think internet spaces can be a lot more fun when we manage our expectations of others within them and sit with our feelings for a bit before reacting.

At the same don't get used to like all this kindness- I'm going into 2025 like a mirror people are getting what they give with me. I'm not a saint I'm a petty, mean, individual who is doing their very best to choose kindness every day and when I fail to choose it I will fail to do so in an spectacularly human way.

Bottom line is I'm going to be obnoxious about Milgram next year. I am going to have as much fun with it as I possibly can as respectfully as I can. I am ready to see hell and bring hell right back. Because I'm enjoying all of this until the very end.

(Star here: Ever since Gunsli came up with this idea I've been interested in seeing how it pans out. This year has been rough but there have also been a lot of people trying to make things better than how they first came across it. Even if it's by only a bit.

Gunsli has put in so much effort and energy into milgram stuff, it's been impressive to see. She's been reaching out more and more and it's heartening to see at least some of her efforts responded to in kind. Excited is a good look for her :- 3

That being said, I'm the one hitting post, since Gunsli is going to be out for a good few hours. >:- 3c if you want to, you should surprise her with messages. Also, from me- I hope everyone's new year pans out better than this one!)

[jasontoddsotherhalf]

A Short Simon Snow Character Analysis:

"Simon needed time. He needed care. He still startled at bright lights and sudden noises. And prolonged eye contact. He'd get jumpy when we were alone together." (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 85)

"On the worst days, on the even worse nights, I used to think about all the bad things that have happened to Simon– just the ones I know about. And then I'd wonder about all the terrible things that have happened to him that I DON'T know about. Twenty years of bad things. How long would it take for those painful memories to die back?" (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 86)

Simon is genuinely one of the saddest chosen ones I've ever read about, and I feel like its ignored by the fandom a lot. Like the book series is always portrayed as funny and light hearted and it is sometimes but at the root it's sad and heart wrenching. However, it's also really creative and has a tone of parallels and connections and like the whole concept of the chosen one fulfilling his purpose and no longer being needed anymore isn't used often. A lot of the times the Chosen one's issues aren't even addressed at ALL its just "Oh he went through a lot as a child but the bad guy is dead now and he got the girl (or guy) so it's fine, he's happy"

Simon was used by everyone his whole life. The Mage, the rest if the world of mages, even Penny and Agatha a bit too, (which Penny realizes and admits in AWTWB). Simon was left as a child at an orphanage where we really don't know much about his life, because he doesn't know much either. In Wayward Son, Simon talks to his therapist about not remembering a lot before he was 11 and she says the brain blocks out things that have traumatized or hurt us in the past. When Simon is 11 and comes to Watford, he speaks so little the teachers have to give him private lessons, and when that doesn't work he gets a speech therapist. A few other details a are given as well such as how Simon jumped from orphanages and Foster homes. All these allow us to infer that he didn't have a good childhood, and stuff probably happened to him.

The Mage becomes Simon's only father figure, and even then Simon says he never felt like a father. The Mage treated Simon like a weapon, and even lied to him about being his father. The Mage could have made things much easier for himself by raising Simon, but he chose to just leave him till he was 11 because he didn't feel like raising his own kid. "Maybe it's part of what the Mage did to me. He said he got me wrong, that I was a cracked vessel. I can't hold on to anything good." (AWTWB pg 65) the Mage only payed attention to Simon when it benefited him. Simon was an object to him, and if you remember in Carry On, it was obvious to literally everyone but Simon, who didn't want to believe he was being manipulated. It turned him into a killing machine.

Often times I feel as if the fandom portrays Simon as some talkative goofball, but that's completely ignoring his character. Simon says in Carry On that he doesn't think because in the end he just does what people tell him too. But that's not true. He does think, all the time, he just pushes away the stuff he doesn't want to think about, thinking about other things to muffle out these unwanted thoughts. Baz also says in Carry On that most conversations with Simon are just Simon shrugging. We feel as though Simon talks a lot because when it's his POV he's always rambling, but this is because Simon has a strong inner monolouge.

Simon had no adult figures in his life to lean on. Every character had someone, despite their maybe complex relationships. Baz has Fiona, and the two are close despite the tension and arguing. Penny has her mom and dad, despite their differences, they all love each other a ton. And Agatha has her parents, who do care about her. Simon never has a firm foundation. Not the Mage, Penny's mom barley likes him, Agatha's family only treats him well because he's the chosen one and dating Agatha, and Baz's family straight up despises him. Everyone else also has friends to lean on too, once you get later into the series. Agatha has a Ginger and even Penny, Penny has Baz and Shepard, Baz has Dev and Niall whom he chooses to sort of ghost, but also Penny. And they all have Simon. But I couldn't help but notice that whenever Simon tried to communicate, he was shut down.

Simon is bad at communicating. They all address this multiple times. But it's the fact that his friends don't even have faith that he'll survive. Multiple times from all POVS it talks about how everyone expected Simon to die, and they're all talking about how they would feel and how it affects them knowing that, but no one ever asked Simon. And Simon is aware of this too, but he just once again ignores it. No one wants a hero who's scared to die for his cause. Simon is shit at communication, but he has his own ways of showing that at least something IS wrong, that Penny and Baz have learned how to read, yet ignore when it's not convenient. Baz and Penny take Simon on a trip out to America, but it wasn't about Simon. Penny had ulterior motives, to see Micah and Agatha. Then the whole situation happened there, and though obviously Baz had nothing going on with Lamb, it clearly made Simon insecure and upset. But Baz just gets annoyed at him for it instead of trying to figure out the root of the issue.

A scene that always irked me in WS is the one where Simon comes back with his hair cut, after months of neglecting it because of his depression. And Baz says nothing, because he's too busy feeling sorry for himself. This may have seemed like a small thing but Simon literally couldn't leave the couch, for almost a year. His self hatred and issues were so bad he couldn't get up. So he finally makes this step, cutting his hair, trying to get better...and Baz basically ignores it.

Another thing is the end if WS when they're on the beach. Simon is trying to say how he feels, in his own way. That he isn't good enough for Baz, Baz should find someone else. And Baz just shuts him down, like he always does. Like he always does when Simon tries to communicate his feelings about being the chosen one, and what happened with the Mage. Then they get back to England, and Baz just acts like nothing happened. Simon shouldn't have ignored all his texts, and shouldn't have moved out leaving just a note, but he doesn't know how to communicate. No one taught him how to do this, all he knows is he needs to figure his shit out and no one currently in that situation, was really helping him.

I see a lot of people hating on AWTWB because Simon and Baz break up, because their relationship is admittedly toxic, and then get together the next day. But I think it makes perfect sense. They both love each other so so much, and they have an unhealthy attachment. Often with toxic relationships, especially when we love each other and want them to work out, we keep coming back in hopes of fixing things. Both boys have severe abandonment issues, and they don't want to loose each other.

I also see people hating on WS and AWTWB because Baz and Simon aren't all happy. Like legit, that is why I see those books getting the most hate. But it makes sense. People's pasts have an effect on them and how they behave. Simon killed the only father figure really he'd ever had. And he still doesn't understand the extent of abuse said man put him through. Simon doesn't know how to put himself first. Like when they're fighting the vampire's in WS, and simon is on the brink of death, he STILL stands up because that's what people have expected him to do all his life. Baz wants everything to be okay and happy and ignore their issues, because that's what they've done his whole life in his family, ignoring problems like him being a vampire. And what Simon desperately needs is to approach his, but he doesn't know how deep his issues run, except that he's a broken, fucked up, mess. He has ptsd, depression, and anxiety, and doesn't know how to help himself.

Overall, Simon's character holds a complexity that often times I see ignored. The story is romantic, and cute. I love Snowbaz as much as the next person. But you can't fully appreciate the story until you actually understand the depth of the characters, especially starting with Simon Snow.

Thank you, have a nice day <3

[fastcardotmp3]

stranger things au where when it's all done, instead of the general fandom usual of NDA's and cover stories, those guys at the NINA Project figure out a way to use that same technology that brought El's memories back to instead wipe the memories of anyone involved in saving the world/ anyone who saw anything abnormal and replace them with the mundane.

It's the only foolproof way to make sure that none of That gets out, to make sure that no one decides to go poking around again 10 years down the line or write a book or a song or a movie that hits a little too closely to the truth, and the government loves themselves something that seems like a foolproof plan.

But what does this mean for our heroes? They don't remember the circumstances that brought them together, only the cover memories that were inserted in their place. They don't remember why they care so deeply for one another because a summer scooping ice cream or a walk through the woods or an-- impromptu game of baseball???-- doesn't quite line up with how it feels.

It feels bigger than that. It feels--

There are explanations for Steve's scars, he remembers a big dog and a trip to the ER, he remembers getting in a car accident and the seat belt coming loose enough to get stuck across his throat instead of his chest. He remembers-- blood on his hands, blood on his clothes, the outline of a man torn half to shreds--

He remembers a bad trip with Robin, but sometimes Robin will say something and it's-- when we got drugged- took those- when we uh, y'know tried LSD that time?-- fuzzy because of the bad trip of it all.

It's easy to accept the truth as the truth, because he remembers. It's easy, for years, to let the truth be the truth, to forget entirely that there are pieces that don't make sense, that there's no reason he should be as close with Dustin Henderson as he is because wait how did we meet? over a missing cat? It's easy, to just let it be true, because the love is there and that's what matters.

The love is there for a year and two and five and ten and Steve's life isn't always easy, in fact he's gone through his fair share of therapists for the insomnia none of them can explain, the confusion that both him and Robin talk about sometimes in the dead of night but can't remember talking about in the morning.

Eddie gets medicated for some sort of psychosis for a while because he had years of these intense night terrors that he could never explain to people, screaming at the top of his lungs, but the minute he would try to tell a shaking and terrified Steve or Robin or Nancy or whoever was present what it had been about he would just sob with frustration because he couldn't remember.

Max has a condition which made her lose her eyesight rapidly as a teenager, who has chronic pain that no doctors have ever found a real cause for despite Steve dragging her to appointment after appointment with fierce protectiveness in his eyes and voice, a desperation that there has to be a reason.

It's easy to accept it as the truth, that they all gravitated towards each other because they're all just a little fucked up in unrelated ways. That they connected to one another because oh you get scared sometimes too? scared like I do? scared like no one else understands?

Lucas starts spontaneously sobbing when some Kate Bush song plays on the radio in 1992. Can't explain it except that it hurts.

Nancy goes to a shooting range and feels her hands go steady for the first time in years in '93. She's never shot a gun before.

El Hopper had a traumatic enough childhood that doctors say she likely won't ever remember all of it, that her brain is protecting her, that-- that's probably true. They're doctors. They know better than Steve, they know about everything except why Max's legs hurt so bad she can't move sometimes.

They know everything except why Eddie can't feel pinned down without having a visceral belief he's dying.

They know everything except why Jonathan swears that their old house used to be painted a different color in the living room.

There are explanations for Steve's scars. He remembers a big dog.

Sharp teeth. Snarling.

He's in his thirties when he kisses Eddie Munson for the first time, because they're fucked in the head in the same ways, because no one else has ever gotten close enough to see the scars and hear the screaming and feel the desperation and not suggested maybe you need bigger help than I can give.

He's a grown man, and it's easy to believe the truth of his past, easy to think that growing older means it's supposed to be a little fuzzy around the edges, and that's okay because this feels bright and clear and technicolor, this thing with Eddie who has run away and come back half a dozen times but always does come back.

Whether he goes to Seattle or LA, New York or Boston; whether he and Steve are in the same place at the same time for more than a couple of weeks, he always comes back, they always find their way back to each other no matter where in the world, except--

Except there.

Everyone left that town with a haste-- or was it one at a time? No, it was the Byers first to California, except-- didn't Will graduate from that school? No. Because El went to school in Chicago at the same time that Robin started college there and she helped Will apply to the Arts Institute and--

And it was Max who went to California-- no, she was from there, but she also-- did she go back?

And why does Steve remember the house he grew up in but the minute he tries to step outside the back door onto the patio in his mind, out by the-- with the blue light and--

"Have you ever been back?" he asks Eddie one day, 32 years old and living in Chicago now full-time together. Robin's just down the road, Nancy's at the Tribune, Argyle has been franchising that coffee shop of his, is opening a spot here in town near his friends who he met when--

"Back where?" Eddie trails his hands through Steve's hair, laying half on top of each other on the couch and listening to some old tape of Jonathan's.

"Where we're from."

Eddie's fingers slow to an almost still and Steve props himself up to watch the way his brow furrows in concentration.

"Why would we go back?" he asks, and Steve has this flash-- like they've had this conversation before.

Like they've talked about where we're from before, although the name of the place never crosses their lips.

"I dunno," Steve slumps into Eddie's chest. They're getting older though so maybe just, "nostalgia?"

"Are you feeling nostalgic?" A rediscovered rhythm to gentle nails across his scalp. Soothing.

"It's where we met," Steve says. It feels true, although when he thinks about it-- "remember? How we met?"

"I..." Eddie's jaw clicks. It does that sometimes, on the same side with the scar.

There are explanations for Eddie's scars too-- a drug deal gone wrong, too many guys with too may knives-- or was it broken beer bottles? They used those as weapons, yeah. Tattered clothes and tattered skin and blood on Steve's hands--

No. He wasn't there. Blood on-- it was Dustin who found him? No. Wait, it was Wayne. Wayne found him, yeah, exactly--

"We met there," Eddie's gripping Steve's hair now, by the root. "We met back there. High school. Do you want to go back?

"Why would we go--"

Steve startles himself with the words, like they just-- like they weren't a choice to say, like they said themselves, like--

"Ed."

Breathing is tight. Steve sits up straight and looks at him. Scars on his face. Eyes so big and deep they hold endless histories--

"Eddie, do you want to go visit-- visit, uh, you know?"

"Why would we--" Eddie claps a hand over his mouth and hums out a sound of frightened discontent. "What. What the fuck."

"How did we meet, again?" Steve swallows. Eddie stands up, paces to the other side of the apartment.

"High school."

"How in high school?"

"Steve, I stopped taking those meds because they didn't help, but this isn't helping me not feel fucking certifiable either--"

"Eddie, I don't remember."

"Okay, so we're getting old!"

"We're not even middle aged!"

Eddie stops where he stands, shakes his head, and Steve watches him because it's easy to watch him, easy to look at the life they've lived and accept that they found each other, fell in love, because no one else gets what it's like to be fucked in the head. To know what's true and still feel wrong in that truth.

To believe it and still get lost in it.

Eddie clenches down on the tremble of his jaw and his eyes go big and imploring.

"What's happening, Stevie?"

There are explanations for all of it, but no one has ever been able to explain Max's pain or Nancy's sharp-shooting or Robin and Steve's inability to get drunk without losing it or the color of the paint in the Byers' old living room in that fucking town that Steve can't even think the name of--

"I'm calling Robin," he says, already striding across the floor. "I want to go back."

There are explanations.

Maybe that's not good enough anymore.

[writing-frenzy]

Isekai with the Kurosaki fam; now with some UraIchi spice

So, my brain has been dumping even more ideas for a fandom I can't write for, so I guess I'll dump all the ideas on the ground and sees what happens; also, partly inspired because of DevinePhoenix's Glass Body, Steal Wings and slightly be Cannon Ichigo in AU series by Williamcipher, especially the third of the series, because ye.

Anyways, so for me, I can never imagine Ichigo would part from his sisters and Goat-face easily, even in a normal au, because it's Ichigo's family, his friends, his lost, his life experiences that makes him who he is as a person; if he died and then transferred, a part of me wonders if he would ever try and get back home somehow. So my brain went-

Brain: hey, how about we have a thing that makes the entire family get into an accident :D

Brain: And, like, maybe a day before or when Ichigo was younger, he ended up saving a godly being's most beloved person, so the god is like; hey, I owe you, I'll reincarnate your family into my world; thing is, the world the god has is maybe connected in a way to an anime/webnovel/comic one of the girls or Ichigo's friends were reading, and Ichigo knows it because he was convinced to watch/read it as bonding.

It's a world of magic and fantasy, where words and names have power and things go bump in the night ever so easily. Ichigo and his Family find themselves in a cozy little hideaway, all confused but happy and relieved to be alive and with each other. Isshin in this au will be an awkward, not the best father but he loves and he tries, and he just wants the best for all of his children. (He is the unsarcastic B+ parent, because with all the shit in this au coming, Ichigo deserves this).

Isshin in their original world is descended from a sword wielding samurai family, and he's had the forms and everything beaten into him since he was young, and the reason why he never taught Ichigo was because he didn't know how to be a gentle teacher and he never wanted to hurt his boy. (it's why he's always given his children freedom and choice of what they want.) And coming into this new world, this new place, everyone can feel a change in their bodies, can feel power in their veins even if they don't know what to do with it. See, Ichigo's mom had a little something funky with her blood but didn't know it and Isshin is actually a human with spiritual powers but with their original world it never came out, and with the God giving them a boost/perks, everyone is learning how to control themselves first and foremost.

It's after a bit of convincing and Isshin making Ichigo promise to tell him if he's going too hard that he starts teaching him the family style, along with others in scrolls with phantom teachers to guide them along. It is rough, it is harsh, but it's Ichigo so he pushes on through and becomes better for it. (The two do agree to see if they can find better teachers for the girls though, as Karin wouldn't suit this style even if she would be good with a sword, and Yuzu seems like she would be better with magic then a blade.)

The family of four spends like three years here, learning all they can, devouring every book and all they can remember of the OG!Story of this place before they all have exhausted all the sources and knowledge of the cottage, can no longer progress in their skills as they have been, and had enough cabin fever to drive any sane person down the river. But they're not stupid, so first things first, Isshin scouting at first, then with his son, before him and Ichigo take turns exploring and scouting the area because they don't like leaving the twins alone. But as they're getting a lay of the land and comparing maps and such to reality, even getting a feel for their new magic gadgets and all, they come across monsters and such here and there Once Isshin is sure that Ichigo can handle himself, its only then they spilt so one can stay with the girls while the other explores for a few days, even if Ichigo is only allowed to do it for two days to his father's week.

After that, packing everything they need into magic bags and hammer space, the family takes one last look to their home of all these years, bows in thanks before they are off. It's not long till they join a trade caravan, Isshin trading his skills as a doctor to do so. They travel around for a bit, before in the end, they settle down in a bustling, safe city that never fell in the story, even if the story's protagonist and gang lives here with all their wacky and troubling hijinxs.

So, now that backstory and such is out of the way, let's get to some of the fun stuff. :3

Ichigo does not realize just how strong he actually is; see, in this world of magic and stuff, swords are... technically considered obsolete; of sure, in the story there is a Magic Swordman who is part of the Protagonist's party, but even there they mostly use the sword as fancy focus then to actually fight with it. But with the way Ichigo was trained, as well as both his and his father's lack of common sense for this world, for them it is as easy to cut down a monster as it is to cut down spells themselves. Neither Ichigo or Isshin understand how insane that is, because once a spell is out, you usually have to dodge it or hope it hits someone else if you can't counterspell it.

The Kurosaki's also avoid the Protag and his crew; lets not get involved in your drama, please and thank you (lol, just had the thought of how protective Isshin and Ichigo would get if the story was with a Harem Protag; both would be protective as heck over the twins because with either reverse or regular harem, girls usually get the shit end of the stick). Ichigo is just fine how he is, even if he keeps getting into fights because of random assholes, his charm flowing out and getting his own loyal friends without his knowing. Karin is way too interested in magical sports to care not to mention her age while Yuzu is getting fascinated by potions, alchemy, and cooking to care.

One day, after Ichigo has been feeding some tidbits to some strays, he finds what seems to be a tea and candy shop, with books to read. it doesn't have much business, being out of the way like it is, but there is the occasional regular coming out. Ichigo shrugs, he has time and so he enters this Urahara Shoten.

Somehow, someway, he ends up making friends with Geta-boshi, who as frustrating as he is, recommends good books and a listening ear. Things lead to one things, stuff happens, and Ichigo finds out this guy also has sword.

Sparring partner acquired, though it takes some convincing, a bit of bribing, but Ichigo is able to get the other to agree; he gets his ass beat easily, but Urahara is a harsh, but good teacher, and so Ichigo just thrives in the challenge.

As for Urahara, this guy is so fucking terrifying, just like in canon, how he is assassin sharp and quick with his blade even as he can spellcast at the same time, just watching Ichigo cut through his spells to meet his blade.

Kisuke: this is the most fun I've had in ages :D I wonder what else he can do if I don't tell him what's impossible.

These two end up getting involved in some harsh canon event disasters, Ichigo fighting with Kisuke, knowing the other man won't let him down. Kisuke, having someone he can trust lead the way, knowing, having faith the other can survive alongside him...

Just, these two bonding, getting closer, Ichigo introducing his sisters and Goat-Face who is giving that weird stare.

(On Isshin's part, he recognizes what's going on, and for all that he is not going to be a hypocrite, is not going to kick this Urahara guy as hard as he can and hide Ichigo away, he suddenly... completely understands Misaki's family's cold and hard stares as he had gotten, watching how the elder blond stares at his 20 year old son like he is sun, like he can't believe there is any light in his life again after being shadowed so long. He's pretty sure that is the same stare he had given Misaki as well, just as how Ichigo looks softer, warmer, happier the minute that Urahara guy stays by his side, just how his mother would melt around him despite her expression never changing.

So, Isshin won't say anything, especially since he can tell neither has a clue... but he will be doing the protective, embarrassing Father as much as he wants.)

So yeah, this is the idea :3 I also have another idea with a Mob Protagonist!Ichigo, where he comes to be a character never even mentioned in a story, and ends up charming local shop owner Urahara Kisuke, who is secretly the terrible, scary Puppet Master Benihime without knowing it. maybe I'll note it out when I feel like it, though if people want, they can ask questions about it.

[gratelove]

hello! i hope it's okay to send in an ask message like this. i used to be an active reader for the riverdale fandom, specifically for sweetpea. there was an author on here that i can't find the blog for and several of their stories featured sweetpea x reader. one of them was about the reader learning that archie was cheating on her with ms. grundy and she goes on a run, ending up on the other side of town and getting caught in the rain. sweetpea finds her and takes her to his home and they start a fwb type of fling after that. the reader is also a cheerleader for riverdale high and is ignoring sweetpea in the present time while he is pining after her. would you be able to post this so that anyone who might remember this story can tell the name of the blog? thank you so much!

I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to write a version of this fic or just post your ask to see if anyone recognizes it, but either way, I’m happy to do it!! Thank you for your ask, and here is my version! I hope this helps and I hope you enjoy 🤎

Drenched in Secrets

Sweet Pea x Reader

After discovering Archie’s betrayal with Ms. Grundy, you turn to Sweet Pea for comfort, and what begins as a passionate friends-with-benefits relationship soon evolves into something deeper. As Sweet Pea finally confesses his longstanding love for you, you realize you feel the same, and the two of you decide to stop pretending and embrace the real connection between you.

Warnings: mentions of sex (no details), fluff, kissing, cheating

You were only going to surprise him. Archie had been spending more time than usual in the music room lately, always giving some vague excuse about “extra lessons” with Ms. Grundy. You didn’t think much of it at first; you knew how much music meant to him, and you trusted him. But today, as you walked down the empty hallway toward the music room, a strange feeling settled over you. Maybe it was just nerves, but something didn’t feel right.

You paused outside the door, listening for the familiar sound of Archie’s guitar. Instead, you heard murmuring—soft, intimate voices—and something twisted in your stomach. You took a steadying breath, reminding yourself it was probably nothing, and opened the door.

And there they were.

Ms. Grundy was leaning in close, her hand resting on Archie’s shoulder as she looked up at him with that all-too-familiar, lingering gaze. Then, before you could even process it, her lips pressed to his in a gentle, slow kiss.

Time stopped. Every nerve in your body went numb as you watched your boyfriend—your Archie—kissing her back. He hadn’t noticed you yet, too lost in the moment, but the sound of your sharp, choked breath must have reached him. He broke away, his eyes widening in horror when he saw you standing there, frozen in the doorway.

“Y/N—” he stammered, stepping toward you, his face pale with guilt. “This isn’t what it looks like, I—”

You didn’t wait to hear the rest. With the numbness melting into anger and hurt, you turned and ran, ignoring the sound of him calling your name as you sprinted down the hall. All you wanted was to get away, to outrun the betrayal seared into your mind.

You burst through the school’s front doors and kept running, letting your feet carry you wherever they would. The autumn air was cool and crisp, stinging against your cheeks as you raced down the streets, through familiar paths that blurred in your vision. Eventually, you found yourself on the far side of town, near the old train tracks where few people ever went.

The sky had darkened, heavy clouds looming overhead. And then, as if the universe itself was grieving with you, the rain began to fall—soft at first, then harder, until it was pouring down in thick sheets, drenching you. You didn’t care. In fact, you welcomed it, letting the rain wash over you as if it could somehow cleanse the ache clawing at your heart.

“Y/N?”

The voice was rough, familiar, cutting through the downpour. You turned to see Sweet Pea standing a few feet away, his dark eyes narrowed in concern as he took in your soaked, defeated form. He was dry under the shelter of a nearby tree, but he didn’t hesitate to step into the rain as he moved closer to you.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it.

“That’s none of your business,” you muttered, feeling the sharp edge of your own pain and anger in your tone. You barely looked at him, focusing instead on the cold rain pounding down, grounding you.

Sweet Pea didn’t respond right away, but he slipped off his leather jacket and draped it over your shoulders, the warmth startling in contrast to the chill. “Come on,” he said, his tone laced with gentleness. “Let’s get you out of this rain.”

Without a word, you let him guide you back through the darkened streets, the sound of the rain filling the silence between you. Soon, you found yourself in his small but warm apartment, your damp clothes traded for an oversized hoodie he handed you. You sank onto his couch, clutching the fabric around you, trying to find some sense of calm.

You hadn’t planned on ending up at Sweet Pea’s place, but after everything that had happened, you weren’t thinking straight. You just needed an escape from the horrible scene that kept replaying in your mind—Archie and Ms. Grundy, her lips on his, and the way he kissed her back. Sweet Pea’s apartment was dark and quiet, a world away from the chaos you’d left behind, and that was all you needed right now.

He watched you carefully as you ran your hands through your hair that was still damp from the rain. He sat in the chair across from you, his gaze steady, waiting for you to say something. You took a shaky breath and finally blurted it out, every painful word. “I walked in on Archie… with Ms. Grundy. They were kissing.”

Sweet Pea’s jaw tightened, anger flickering across his face. “That idiot,” he muttered. “He doesn’t deserve you.” His voice was rough but full of something you hadn’t expected—something fierce, something protective.

Maybe it was that fierce look in his eyes, or the anger bubbling up inside you, but in that moment, you didn’t want comfort. You wanted distraction. You wanted to forget. Without another word, you reached for him, closing the space between you as your lips found his, full of hurt and anger and a need to feel something other than heartbreak. Sweet Pea’s surprise melted away almost instantly as he responded, his hands finding your waist and pulling you off the couch and into his lap.

It wasn’t gentle or hesitant. It was fiery and consuming, like all the anger and hurt pouring out through touch. Sweet Pea knew exactly how to make you forget. He knew all the right spots to make you cry out in pleasure and not pain or sadness. No guy had ever made you feel like this.

That night set everything in motion. What began as a messy, impulsive choice became something you found yourself craving. You and Sweet Pea developed an unspoken agreement, a friends-with-benefits relationship that neither of you acknowledged aloud. Whenever the hurt resurfaced, whenever Archie so much as crossed your mind, Sweet Pea was there, grounding you in ways you never expected. Archie tried multiple times to reach out. He’d called, texted, and even come up to you at school or tried to catch you after cheer practice. You ignored all his efforts. He even tried once while you were with Sweet Pea. The Serpent had stepped in front of you, arms crossed like he was your personal bodyguard. Seeing him do that, seeing him protective of you, it did something to your insides you couldn’t even explain. You had to squeeze your thighs together just hold yourself in one piece. You knew you couldn’t stop seeing Sweet Pea, even if you wanted to. You were addicted. It wasn’t just physical, either. Slowly, you started to feel something else, a comfort and ease in his presence that you hadn’t felt with anyone before.

You made no effort to hide your connection with Sweet Pea, especially when Archie was around. If Archie was nearby, you’d let your hand linger on Sweet Pea’s shoulder or laugh a little louder at his jokes, making it clear that you’d moved on. Sweet Pea didn’t say much about it, but he didn’t pull away, either. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the attention, slipping his arm around your shoulders or brushing his thumb over your cheek whenever he caught sight of Archie watching. His favorite was to run his hand up your thigh, leaving his fingertips under your Vixens cheer skirt.

But the more time you spent with Sweet Pea, the more you realized that he was different than you’d thought. Beneath his rough exterior, he was funny and thoughtful, surprising you with little gestures that showed he cared. He’d tease you during study sessions, pull you into his lap when you were stressing over cheer practice, and always had a quiet, reassuring presence whenever you needed it. You found yourself drawn to him in ways you hadn’t anticipated, but you kept it to yourself. After all, this was supposed to be casual, a way to cope with Archie’s betrayal.

Months passed, and the routine you and Sweet Pea shared became something almost normal. Yet you never told him how much he really meant to you. How much his presence had helped you heal. And every time you saw him, your feelings grew, but you kept it hidden, unsure of where he stood.

Then, one night, after a particularly late practice, you walked into his apartment, expecting the usual smirk and dirty comments. He loved your cheer uniform. He normally couldn’t keep his hands off of you when you walked through the door in it, which was most days. But tonight, Sweet Pea looked different. His gaze was intense, troubled, and he barely met your eyes as you stepped inside.

“Sweet Pea?” you asked, confused. “What’s going on?”

He took a deep breath, his expression shifting from troubled to resolute. “I can’t do this anymore, Y/N.”

The words felt like a punch to the gut. “Can’t do what?” You knew what he meant, but you needed to hear him say, out of hope that you were wrong.

“Us. This… whatever this is.” He motioned between the two of you.

“Why,” you asked, biting your bottom lip to hold back a tear.

“Because…” he hesitated, running a hand through his hair. He seemed to be searching for the right words, struggling to keep his voice steady. “Because I’ve been in love with you for a long time. Way before this whole thing with Archie even happened.”

Your heart stopped. Sweet Pea’s gaze was intense, the usual casualness gone, replaced by raw vulnerability. “At first, I thought I could handle it,” he continued. “I thought maybe… maybe this would be enough. Just having you around, even if it wasn’t real. But it’s killing me, Y/N. Touching you, kissing you, watching you pretend like this doesn’t mean anything.”

The room was silent, his confession hanging heavy between you. You felt a rush of emotions—shock, confusion, but most of all, a warmth that started in your chest and spread, filling every part of you. Sweet Pea had loved you all along, even when you’d been too wrapped up in Archie to notice.

He looked away, his voice barely a whisper. “I can’t keep doing this if I’m just a hookup to you. I can’t keep being here, hoping you’ll feel the same way.”

You reached for him, your heart pounding. “Sweet Pea… you’re not just a hookup. You haven’t been for a while now. I thought… I didn’t think you’d want anything more.”

He looked up, surprise flickering in his eyes. “Are you saying…?”

“I’m saying I feel the same,” you said, your voice soft but sure. “Somewhere along the way, I stopped wanting this to be casual. I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Sweet Pea’s expression softened, a tentative smile breaking through the vulnerability. He stepped closer, his hand reaching to brush a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “So… we’re done pretending, then?”

You nodded, feeling a weight lift from your chest. “Yeah. We’re done pretending.”

And as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a kiss that was gentle and filled with everything you’d both been holding back, you knew that this was more than just an escape. This was real.

[disorganizedkitten]

Yes hi hello, I'd love to hear ur thoughts on the al ghul children

Hi yes hello I'd love to talk about them

I am so weak to assassin children you have no idea so anyway

The Al Ghul Children. Are so freaking TRAGIC and I can never get over them

So you have the baby generation which is Mara and Damian and Athantasia; then the original generation, which is Dusan, Nyssa, and Talia.

Attie straight up doesn't exist in most media but in the game(?) where she does she's Damian baby sister who was kept a secret until he couldn't go back to being with the bats. I think about her all the time. What did she know about Damian growing up? Did she ever want to meet him? How many times did she sit in the middle of the night and wish for her brother to do something unforgivable so he could come back? Or was she glad he was gone? The league canonically pits their kids against each other, did she grow up resenting him? Or, even if she liked the idea of him, did she resent him anyway for being the child who went to Bruce? Did she take up Damian's place in the duels with Mara?

Athantasia isn't used nearly enough for her potential she is blorbo-shaped.

And then Damian! Itty bitty baby boy with a sword and issues. I think so much about how he's naturally soft but he can't be because of circumstance. How many quiet moments were lost to blood, how long did it take for him to learn what a genuine human connection felt like? What if he never did? I've been around humans I love since I was born, and I still sometimes feel absolutely disconnected from them. How much superiority is covering for insecurity? We've seen him make friends, Maps, Colin, Jon, as the three I actually care about, and he likes them. Did he make friends in the league? What happened to them? Or did he just, for lack of a better word, imprint, on other assassins?

In a complete other fandom I'm propagating biting as a love language and Damian has that vibe too.

and MARA

Holy fudge Mara also sends me; being constantly raised not only as a weapon, but being told you're the second best weapon and that maybe you can gain more prestige if you beat your cousin in a deadly duel, except even if you do win you know you will never get the recognition you're trying for because his mother is favored and your father isn't

Were she and Damian ever close, or as close as they could get? Did they plan how to lead the league when they weren't trying to take each others' eyes out, did she ever meet Attie, did she take her anger on Damian out on Attie, is the red streak something she does to hide a lazarus streak or is it natural from her dad? Can she see out of her other eye? Where did she see herself in the league before Damian deserted? Is she close to her teammates in the fist or are they just the prettiest canon fodder Ra's could send?

Is there a part of her that is as relieved to be hunting Damian down as it is angry, because at least fighting him is familiar?

The older three also make me Feel Things but not as much as the kiddos.

Nyssa apparently survived the holocaust? And then Ra's murdered her kids and then repeatedly killed her and dropped her into the pits for... something? I don't remember if I ever learned why that happened, but it did and it's so horrid? Drove her to insanity, surprise surprise. I recommend Misericordia and it's sequel on ao3 if you want to cry over Steph, Damian, Talia, and Nyssa. And then the Nyssa Al Ghul & Tim Drake Tag, if you're feeling adventurous. I don't even know the NAMES of Nyssa's kids and that makes me incredibly sad.

Would they have gotten along with the other three? Would they have taken them and ran? Or would they train them, keeping their bloodline strong, and just quietly know that these are their cousins and they're so proud?

And Talia gets rewritten every other writer but there are so many options when characterizing her and they're so much fun. But also everyone else deals with her so jumping to the next one. I think Talia is also the youngest? Don't quote me on that

Anyway last al ghul I think too much about is Dusan. I can't remember if he's the oldest or the middle child but despite being Ra's' male heir he straight up got sent away because he has albinism? And then he fought his way back into his father's ranks under an alias? He went so far for approval and he's still overlooked, and his kid is considered second rate, even though he's personally considered to be terrifying?

How long did it take him to come back? Why didn't he stay away? Does he ever regret it, now that he's back in the league?

i just. There are lots. and lots. of thoughts about them. And I'm sure there are more al ghuls hiding somewhere for me to lose my everloving mind over but I haven't met them yet

the inherent hate of someone who has everything you think you want battling with the inherent love for someone who has gone through the same horrors you have

[kazz-brekker]

hotd episode 8 thoughts

hmmm. i remember reading an interview with the writers of this show before the season dropped where they lowkey threw shade at hbo and very heavily implied that having 8 episodes rather than 10 was not their choice and i can very much feel that with this episode

it felt a lot more like a penultimate episode of a season rather than the season finale. all of that set-up with the marching armies at the end of the episode really felt more like a "and next week, a big battle!" kind of thing rather than a "in 2 years, you'll see a big battle!"

why is this show acting like the war is only just starting…we saw named characters toasting each other 4 episodes ago…

i was otto hightower-baited! i saw the name rhys ifans in the opening credits and went !!!!! only for a single shot him in the last minute of the episode, i feel robbed!

i did find tyland lannister's visit to the triarchy very funny. no bureaucrat in the history of westeroes has ever suffered like this man. also sharako lohar was DEFINITELY hitting on him, you cannot convince me otherwise

as someone perpetually annoyed that in game of thrones daario naharis has brown hair rather than blue i appreciate that the tyroshi sailors had dyed hair

the aegon-larys alliance really become one of the unexpected highlights of the second half of this season. they're going on their little essos vacation together!

god rhaena you deserved so much better this season and so much more screentime. we should have seen more of you and jeyne arryn!

entertained to see that ulf is quickly becoming that coworker that no one likes

rhaenyra. girl. i love you but please stop with this bloodless warfare thing. you have six dragons on your side, stop hesitating about using them!

all of those soldiers standing around in the background clearly eavesdropping on criston and gwayne's argument was very funny

kind of loving all this insecurity about his parentage they're giving jace, it's nice to have some conflict with his character

i liked the little dragon heads on rhaenyra's dress at the dinner with the dragonseeds

alys rivers sitting on the edge of daemon's bed like his own personal sleep paralysis demon made me chuckle a bit

his final weirwood vision was such blatant fanservice but as a fan of daenerys and bloodraven i can't be that mad about it

can someone check on that portion of the fandom that used to ship helaena and aemond, i feel like they're not doing so hot right now after those scenes

i did think it was strange that helaena could so clearly communicate aemond's death to him when she had such a hard time doing so with her other visions in the past? but perhaps nothing clarifies your sinister visions of the future like being mad at your sibling

i was really happy that rhaenyra and daemon reunited! i've missed matt smith and emma d'arcy having scenes together this season a lot. plus, i know their relationship is all kinds of fucked-up but i just loved seeing them speak in high valyrian to each other again. and it's always nice to see daemon kneel before his wife

glad that alyn got to really chew out corlys on his failures as a father, that's been a long time coming

i wasn't expecting rhaenyra and alicent to have another scene together this season but ngl it was kind of fun, emma d'arcy and olivia cooke really just eat up every scene they have with each other

plus the reversal of their dynamic from the episode 3 meeting was interesting, with rhaenyra being very unyielding and alicent being desperate to connect

i enjoyed seeing rhaenyra be mean to alicent, especially the whole "son for a son" thing. yes, rhaenyra! alicent's son killed yours! please be mad about it, you deserve it!

i just feel like the end of this seaon lacked the punch that season 1 had, it felt more like a little showcase of all the fun stuff that was coming rather than definitive cliffhanger. i mean, c'mon, we don't even get to see the fall of king's landing????

[merp-blerp]

My Gaylor Journey: A Year Later 🌈

So, I posted about my Gaylor opinions a year ago today, my first (intentional) post about Gaylor after properly looking into the community for the first time and eventually joining it. I can't believe it's been that long, Jesus! Feels both too long and yet too short of a time. Well, I want to commemorate that; hopefully, I'll make sense, as there's so much I feel and want to say. I don't think I'll ever truly get it all out of me. But here:

I've enjoyed my time here so much! This period has been surprisingly influential for me. For one thing, I've gained some lovely mutuals! I've never had so many before, so it's new, but I enjoy you all. You guys are so kind, smart, and welcoming!

I've also learned so much about queerness, the queer experience, and queer history that I just never would've known before. And I was already very into queer history before. I adore how I listen to Taylor's music now. "Wrong" interpretation or not, looking at her music from a queer lens is so interesting and so easy. I had looked at it from a queer perspective before, but it was more through my eyes. How could this song relate to me and my queerness? Never in regards to the possibility of Taylor's. It's crazy to remember being younger, listening to her music, and getting queer vibes, but assuming I was projecting. Nice to know I was never alone in my thoughts. Looking at the potential real muses is fun, but just daring to look at things another way has been fulfilling alone. I had no clue I could get more connected with Taylor's work, but somehow this community has proven me wrong.

Being here has also saved me from a lot of worrying probably. The Swiftie community since Joe ended whatever he had with Taylor has been very much so changed since I discovered it in 2018, so while I have nothing against nice Swifties, I'm glad I mostly stick to the Gaylor side of things these days. This fandom's less crowded and I like experiencing Tay's art this way. Being a fan shouldn't feel so crazy. Not too long ago, I was having a conversation with one of my college mentors, who's a Swiftie, the day after TTPD was announced, I believe. We were both excited and I spouted out several watered-down versions of Gaylor theories (can never be too careful who you Gaylor in front of), cutting out the gay parts, and what I thought they meant for what TTPD was expected to be; theories like the burning lover house symbolizing "a new phase of her career" starting with TTPD, or white symbolizing rebirth, blah, blah, you know. And absolutely no offense to my mentor, she's lovely, but I was a bit gobsmacked when her theories only had to do with Joe. It was so... bare-bones. Dry. Boring. Don't you wonder what this means for Taylor herself, not just some boy she may or may not be dunking on? She also had so much seemingly incorrect info about the Toe narrative, saying Joe has a music career (he doesn't???) and that Taylor herself confirmed, word of mouth, that she cheated on Joe, which definitely would not be very characteristically "cryptic and Machiavellian" of her to just confirm like that. Just saying it would not be how she tells us a detail like that. I didn't realize people truly thought she cheated till that conversation. They were just very hard to believe things, whether or not you believe in Gaylor or mainstream narratives. She said a lot of her theories came from TikTok, so misinformation isn't shocking in the slightest; people rarely give good sources over there, so if you find someone who does they seem to be a needle in a haystack, sadly. But that conversation reminded me just how much things have changed, both in me and the fandom. Having fresh relationship drama for the first time in 6 years made some Swifties feral and I'm glad I'm not in it. Getting swept up in that shit is easy and I fear I could've if it weren't for jumping ship in time. As Taylor's signaling gets louder and louder again, possibly gearing up for another coming-out attempt, I think I joined just in time. The goddess of timing found me beguiling, I guess.

It just makes me sad that for these types of fans, Taylor's music and craft aren't about her anymore, but about the guys. It's so weird to see fans introduce new Swifties by going over all the supposed muses instead of talking about her and how this song or album communicates her emotions about a situation. They are deeply missing out. Even when I was only in the general fandom, despite my jokes about the boys, I ultimately thought Taylor was the most important factor in her songs. And it seemed like others thought that too, until all this new Joe-Travis-drama eclipsed that. Or till some bad new fans came in just for the drama and to hop on the more trendy version of "loving" her that's going on now. Or maybe I was in my own bubble and it's always been like this. She was never simply "Mrs. Alwyn" and she's not "Mrs. Kelce" or even "Mrs. Kloss" and it's strange to see her get called that as if she's not TAYLOR FUCKING SWIFT. That's not enough? Maybe I'm taking it too seriously or literally, but it feels so wrong to boil her down to just that. I get where it comes from, Taylor's music appeals to the hopeless romantics such as myself, but there's more to Taylor, us, and life than just romance and being someone's "spouse".

Many Swifties rightfully criticize the media for only focusing on Taylor's alleged love life, but some of them hypocritically do the exact same thing, only I'd argue it's worse because they seem to think they're entitled to do so because they're fans or feel like her friends. We don't know Taylor. I don't know Taylor. If she's openly talking about her album(s)/re-record(s) and the craft behind creating it, or her emotional journey creating it, maybe don't yell out to her face about some trivial thing connecting to whoever you think the muse is (looking at you TIFF 2022—I'll never be over that). I'm glad Taylor seems to recognize this behavior and has at least tried to remind fans of the distance between herself and them in recent years; I mean, compare the songs she wrote for fans years ago like "Long Live" and "The Archer" vs "Dear Reader" and potentially "You're Losing me" and "But Daddy I Love Him" if you interpret them that way. They're all wonderful, but more recent songs remind us that she's a stranger to us as opposed to just talking about how grateful she is for us (which I'm sure she still is). I've mentioned in the past that I think this is part of why the TV eras beyond the Red TV era and promo for TTPD have been so laid back in comparison; she doesn't want fans getting way too into "defending" her from [insert "ex-boyfriend" here] like they did during Red TV's release, so she's making it less "exciting". 1989 TV didn't even get music videos. She's never dignified invasive questions with a response to interviewers, so why would she for some fan(s)? You aren't any more special or any less of a stranger to her than those interviewers were. None of us are, including Gaylors (that's why we can't out her, strangers can't out strangers with only pure speculation).

I find it interesting to see how differently the two sides of this fandom treat the potential ex-muses of songs. In the general fandom, there's a lot of animosity, where swifties love to joke about hating or destroying whomever (and I'm chill with jokes), but sometimes it goes way too far. Many Swifties hate most potential exes, exceptions being people like Harry Styles or Taylor Lautner because they have their own fandoms that tend to overlap with Taylor's. But Gaylors rarely do the exact same with exes. Potential exes aren't brought up unless necessary and I've never seen anyone even jokingly hate anyone purely because they are an ex and therefore bad; it might be around, but the fact that I can't find it nearly as easily is something. We'll hold ex-muses (and Taylor) accountable for potential mishaps in past relationships and that's it. Say what you will about Gaylors, but I've never heard of any Gaylors sending someone like Dianna Agron death threats like some Swifties have done with John Mayer.

One huge thing I was not expecting when joining this fandom was becoming slightly disillusioned by the Swiftie title. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with being called that, as I know that's what I am ultimately and it's not terrible to be a Swiftie inherently by any means. But being opened up to the deep homophobia, bullying, and even doxxing in the Hetlor community has really made me feel odd lumping myself in with "Swifties", as they still call themselves, at times. I don't know how I never stumbled across it when in the general fandom, at least not that I can recall (I feel like I would if I did). From what I gather, Swifties have a rep for being a pretty sweet fandom, and many people are, but I can't help but feel sour about it sometimes after seeing what I've seen from some Swifties. I hope one day the homophobia and just basic vitriol with these types of fans can be lightened up by a cultural shift or something. Way too many people are unaware of the layers of the conversation about outing, closeting, speculation, etc. I myself wasn't before entering the Gaylor fandom and I'm glad I am now. I knew lots of history, but didn't properly apply it to how we can see things now. It's very odd, almost embarrassing, looking at some of my old Swiftie posts now, especially ones about Joe and Gaylors, because I don't feel that way anymore. I was never hateful, but I had some wrong ideas. I guess I'll keep them up though, in order to be honest with myself and anyone who wants to maybe dig into my blog. Plus there's not actually anything to be too embarrassed about from what I remember, it's just a very "in my head" type of thing. I'm glad I'm not as emotionally invested in Taylor's supposed exes anymore. Even when it comes to Karlie as an LSK, I'd be fine if Kaylor was broken up or never together. Surprised and maybe a little sad, but I expect to be okay if that were to be a revelation. It feels much healthier.

I even suspect that being here has helped me with accepting my own queerness further, and I thought I had fully done that already. I guess internal acceptance is a forever journey, at least for me. I came out to my grandparents mid last year and early this year, something I was planning on delaying till I went away to college (I'm doing college virtually for now). I think this community helped me.

I deeply wish that both sides of Taylor's fandom could come together, hear each other, and co-exist. I hate that Gaylors are so vilified for simply suggesting a random lady might be queer as if seeing potential hints of queerness in other people and pondering their sexuality hasn't always existed in queer culture and continues to prevail. We still see primarily femme sapphics ask how they can signal that they're queer without saying so, much like what Taylor might be doing with her hairpins and games. Why is it wrong to be on the other end of that interaction, seeing and acknowledging the signals? In my personal opinion, I think it's at least a bit homophobic in and of itself to say that queer people must come out in a loud, upfront, obvious-to-straights way in order to be seen as queer, otherwise they are forcibly slated as the default of straight. Yes, some people have a boundary about speculation, and that should 100% be respected for those folks, but Taylor specifically has set no such boundary as of me typing this out. Why still force her into the straight box when she's never plainly said she's straight, always toeing the line no pun intended, not giving any clear answers for now, which she doesn't owe. Honestly, I feel like it's more likely that if she were straight she would have such an issue saying plainly; straight people don't coyly tiptoe around saying they're straight like that, but that's just my perspective. When the discourse around speculation is brought up, I often see people say something along the lines of, "Well, I wouldn't want someone to speculate on me," and that's completely fine to feel, but that's your boundary. Not everyone feels that way. Some want to be seen without a definitive word out of their mouth beforehand. This is coming from someone who, when offline, sometimes gets a bit internally antsy when people inform me they could tell my lesbian-ness with or without me intending to signal, though not offended. Yet I also sometimes hate to tell people in verbal words. It can be exhausting, not in just a scary way, but in the sense that it can be akin to explaining that you breathe; being queer just comes so naturally for me because it is natural, so explaining gets tiresome, especially since straights never have to. For me, and in general, speculation is not as black and white as "you should never do it" or "you should always do it". You shouldn't cross people's boundaries, but you shouldn't assume people's boundaries either; that can be just as wrong and dangerous.

Gaylors and Swifties are the same fandom, so why can't we act like it, even when we disagree?

Everyone and everything I've involved myself in here has been so enriching and even if all the Gaylor theories were somehow proven wrong, I wouldn't regret my time here. It's meant too much to me. I'm very grateful and excited to see how this progresses for me. I can't find enough words to express it.

To any rude Hetlors out there, I hope you find it in your heart to treat others with kindness instead of throwing shade at those you simply don't understand/agree with. If you're going to hurt others, I don't want anything to do with you. Kindly leave for both our peace of mind.

To the vast majority of you who have been wonderful, welcoming, and kind, especially the ones who were here before I entered the Gaylor fandom, and didn't leave after, I love you all. You can stay. ♥

🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[bluelotuswrites]

hey blue <3 so i’ve been thinking about this for a while and i don’t know if it’s been asked before, but how do you come up with the titles for your fics?? they all have this air of catholic guilt and poetic power that just hits every time and i would love to know your process for coming up with them?

Honestly, it really depends.

Some of them have ties to real phrases ex. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil -> See No Evil, Speak No Evil Family Doesn't End in Blood

Some of them are vagueish connections to the story's content ex. Laying Down the Sword is kinda a connection to Jason's never-ending fight against crime until he decided to walk away (Also a very, very loose nod to Joan of Arc, who also carried a sword and fought in a battle until killed young) Like a Barbed Wire Noose -> pain from throat bad enough to feel like a barbed wire noose (if you've ever had strep throat, you'll know what I'm talking about.)

Some were courtesy of friends ex. My Soul Follows My Decay @speaching Hellblazer's Apprentice @duskyashe The Devil's Eyes and His Voice Behind was someone in a fandom server I'm in but I can't remember for the life of me who it was right now.

Some are more just because I loved how they were comedic/ironic ex. Two Rounds of Shots (But One's Alcohol and One's a Bullet) Hamlet Has Nothing on Me! Evil is Subjective and All I Wanted Was Some Fucking Sliced Bread

Others were more as pointed towards DC elements ex. Burn His Kingdom and Salt the Ashes -> Bruce is "Gotham's Prince" so Talia and Jason knock him off his pedestal Crumbling Pillars, Failing Foundations -> The security and tight-knitted dynamics of batfamily are falling apart. Bruce's rule and reputation that were placed on pillars are crumbling as the family sees the truth; and the foundation of trust is failing because of this.

There are (yet to be seen) titles that come from song lyrics, so go listen to the playlists I have if you want to try and get a hint ;)

I explained a bit of the origins of Red is the Color of Sinners series' name in this post. But also, I chose that name because both characters have a strong connection to the color red and considering Jason is a priest in one DC timeline, I kinda imagined he has some ties to religion and just went ham on it. Since Matt says he has the Devil in him and Jason does commit murder, they're both sinners (Hurrayyyy good ol' fashioned Catholic guilt) :D

On another note, in terms as to how I come up with them, I worked a very boring job at a grocery store and used to daydream the hell out of stuff for my stories to help kill time. Either that or they just kinda come to me when I'm sleeping or doing something like taking a shower or doing dishes, and then it's a mad scramble to write it down before I forget lol. Occasionally they'll go through name changes but for the most part, they stay the same.

[underdark-dreams]

Can you please talk about your writing! how you write and revise and where you get your inspiration you are just so amazing! I could use some tips to get my writing to the next level. maybe some fic recs you find inspiring as well? only if you want too.

I sat on this ask for a while to mull it over, so thanks for your patience! I can definitely talk about my general process and link some fics that have inspired me.

I've also answered some other asks about writing process and technique. You can read those here if you like:

Emotional and feelings-focused writing

Writing descriptively

Fic writing: general process

First, it's good to have your opening and your ending in mind before you start. Even if it's just:

OC walks into Sorcerous Sundries

Rolan and OC fall asleep together

If you have the bookends, it's a lot easier to find the story's beats in the middle. (Or decide that you can't find the path from A to B after all & need to change one of them around)

Once I have those two down, I usually write out the main beats of the story next. These will be the parts that excite you most as a writer!! Like, they make you giddy to write about! Getting these down on paper has ALWAYS given me a burst of momentum to get through the drier/connecting bits.

So I encourage you to write out the story events/scenes that make you most excited first. Exposition will come later! Don't worry about 'setting things up' right now, unless you really want to start there. Remember that your first draft only has to make sense to you.

Inspiration

Damn if I could bottle the answer to this one, I'd be set for life! lmao

A lot of people start writing first and find the inspiration along the way. It's a valid and effective method!

I usually wait for ideas to come to me first, and they usually come when I'm totally disconnected from my writing computer. I swear, my strongest ideas for a fic setup or interesting scene always come when I'm at work or vacuuming or some crap

Best advice I can give is to keep a notes app on your phone or something similar. Rotate your characters around in your mind while you're doing other random life things, and good ideas will usually come to you. Jot down the framework or some dialogue or whatever strikes you before you forget it, then revisit it when you have more time.

Revising and editing

I'm one of those writers who edits a ton as they go, instead of drafting out a story and revising in one go. So this part is kind of difficult for me to answer...the two processes are unfortunately so interconnected in my head!

The main thing is to make sure you give yourself a few days between writing and doing your final edit. Even if you've been revising along the way, taking some time away from your fic lets you gain a fresh perspective.

I will admit, I also keep thesaurus.com open in a tab at all times. Like. I am addicted to finding just the right word

As with all of the above, your mileage may vary! The right technique is the one that gets you writing and creating. 💯

Fic Recs

Here's a list from back in December! Still in love with all of these!

Also:

Deeply and Immovably So by Cometra / @dutifullylazybread - Absolutely required reading for any Rolan x Tav fans! Tav is AFAB/she/her. Darcy's worldbuilding and imagery is incredible, very deep and meaningful. Just all-around excellence!

verso by aes3plex - Zevlor x m!Tav oneshot. This story like...made me understand who Zevlor was as a character. I don't know how else to describe it. Really wonderful backstory threaded through a present-day encounter with some of the best prose ever. Love!

But I will admit, I grew up reading Trek fics, and those stories and writers have stayed with me longer than anything else. I think old fandom + huge universe + writers with sheer decades of experience in fanon have a lot to do with the quality of writing there. Not relevant to BG3 but has definitely shaped how I write today!

[kangals]

way back in 2014, probably a few weeks or months after you posted that picture of boone with the stick on his head, i checked your blog out and so dearly enjoyed all the dogposting that i followed. i think you were the first dogblr blog i actually followed at the time, but it's been ages and my memory is bad, so i'm not fully sure. it wasn't long before then--2012 i think?--that i had gotten a new dog of my own, a border collie. iirc he and boone were just about the same age.

in 2018 i lost that blog i'd followed you with, and a lot of connections with it. i didn't return until 2021, and when i did, i didn't refollow most of the old blogs; i don't think i even really went looking for them. it took me a while to get back into the swing of using tumblr.

last september, my border collie had a sharp health decline, and i had to say goodbye. it's not the first time i've had to put a pet down, but i think it was the hardest. i'm still not over it. even just typing this now, i feel raw.

then in march or so, i made a new fandom friend who knows you, and i enthusiastically recalled following you before and how much i enjoyed it. i didn't even know about stellina, and now there's kep too! but... i also didn't know you'd lost boone. i followed because i still really enjoy your blog, and i love your collies too. and butters!!! so glad she's still here!

idk what made me look tonight... maybe because i talked about my old border collie with someone today. i went looking for the posts immediately around when you lost boone, because i guess some part of me wanted to know what happened. i spent the better part of an hour (maybe longer?) reading posts from the weeks before the decline, and then the loss, and then the deluge of old boone pictures after, and i've been crying pretty much the whole time just reading your posts and tags about him.

and this is a long and windy way to get to saying thank you. i'm glad you shared your grief, though that seems like a weird thing to say. there's something cathartic about crying over someone else's dog when you still hurt about your own, and knowing you're not alone in that kind of sorrow. boone was such a beautiful boy. i'll never forget that silly post that made me check your blog out in the first place, or the years of posts i stuck around for after. i wish i'd remembered to follow sooner, but the archive is still there, and it's so fun looking through all those old posts about him and his quirks and antics. he was amazing.

sorry for the length of this, i just... really wanted you to know that he touched yet another life, i guess. and i've been so deeply enjoying your posts about stellina and kep. i know it'll be a year soon... i hope there's some peace in how things have gone since he passed, and i hope the anniversary isn't too hard on you. thank you for sharing him with us.

i've been on tumblr for 14 years and this is, genuinely, the nicest ask i think i've ever been sent.

thank you - sincerely. there's been a lot of times over the course of this blog that i've felt like i was oversharing, or talking about pointless things only i cared about. i still so frequently start typing out a post only to stop mid-sentence and delete it because i can't help but think "no one cares about this." possibly it's why i like to talk about my pets so much - they're not me, but i'm the one who knows them best, so i get to say "hey look at this" and ramble and have people say "i'm looking" back. when boone passed, i lost that filter and i poured my grief out into this blog because it was the closest outlet i had. and to have hundreds of people not only acknowledge this but to commiserate, to reassure, to share their own stories - that helped healed me more than i can put into words. it's exactly as you said: there's a catharsis in grieving together.

i am sorry you also had to say goodbye. i wish i could say it gets easier, but i think that would be defeating the point of grief. your grief is your love and damn it if there isn't any act more loving in the world than choosing to say goodbye to an old, loyal dog. you think of how dogs were domesticated tens of thousands of years ago, of how human society and dogs have developed intertwined, of how we have records of ancient greeks and romans carving loving epitaths on their dog's graves, of how a prehistoric dog's skull was found with a bone placed in it's mouth after death, and you wonder if grieving a dog isn't one of the most consistent experiences in the whole of human history that there is.

i'm glad to know that this could bring you some comfort, in some way. it's incredibly touching to know that you kept me and boone in your thoughts for all this time. i am doing ok - i've been reflecting a lot as we approach the one-year mark. i'm not sure if i'll be able to condense those thoughts down into coherent words, but i'll do my best. i hope that my silly little pets continue to bring you some happiness, and that you've found peace with your own grief.

thank you, again - this is extremely touching and means a hell of a lot to me.

[msdrprofessorjessica]

Introducing my Five Nights At Freddy's AU!!!

This is something that I have wanted to do for a while but I have not been able to muster up the courage for multiple reasons. These reasons include: I'm not an artist, moreso a writer. I feel that if I ever uploaded anything onto Tumblr involving a Fnaf AU that never had any sort of art, I would get ignored or even shat on because of it. I don't know why, might just be the anxiety in me (I also happen to be sick right now so that doesn't help either). I also felt that my ideas would be often criticized or straight up ignored by most around here. I grew up in a more simpler time of the Fnaf community, where AU's meant that something crazy needed to happen meanwhile everyone here just does Alive AU's and treats these characters like they are their own OC's. I don't. Thirdly, a recent post in the past might set off red flags, especially the recent sentence. This is not going to be your coffee shop Alive AU like most people. I don't like Alive AU's, in fact I kinda detest them if I'm being honest. If you know me on Discord (only close friends do) then this AU might not be super interesting and might be the same stuff I already do. But no one really knows me on Tumblr and a lot of people are not close friends with me, so this is a way to give back to the Five Nights At Freddy's franchise, a franchise I hold so dear to my heart.

Five Nights At Freddy's has been with me since I was nine years old talking about it in the cafeteria of my school, talking about what Fnaf 2 would be like, and playing it on the god awful mobile phone version. I still remember my IPod having the old Fnaf 3 mobile port on it before it got wiped, good times. For a while now, I have always been scared about going public with my works. Taking small steps to try and get myself out there as a writer and such, and I feel like this is a bit of a step in the right direction. Maybe a giant step but a step nonetheless. I want to share my AU with the world and with a fandom I have very close ties with and I still do even when I'm 19. Fnaf even helped me with gender identity and such (thank you Vanessa Fnaf) and while I did take a crack at people who make Alive AU's, I still enjoy them when they are done in a fun and interesting way. And yes, I still love those kids, they are so silly. This AU is a loveletter to the franchise and while I don't want to reveal the name yet, I can't just not tell you what it will entail.

For all you remnant and agony lovers, that stuff is staying. I love the concept of remnant and agony and I think I can use not just agony, but all emotions in an interesting way to make it affect remnant as well.

Actual development to not just human characters, but animatronic characters as well. I know, crazy right? There's lore to be had for the animatronics as well to make their development just as interesting as your favorite silly children and your mass murderers. Also yes, just like other AU's, the cast will have a large diversity. Some characters will be LGBTQ+, some will be black, some will be Asian, some will be autistic, the whole nine yards. Some will be straight and white, I know, horrifying but the cast will still be diverse.

All games are canon! Yeah that's right, every game is canon in some way shape or form, even games like Freddy in Space 3 and Fury's Rage. Five Nights At Freddy's 1-4, Five Nights At Freddy's Sister Location, Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria Simulator, Ultimate Custom Night, Help Wanted 1 and 2, Special Delivery, Security Breach and Ruin, and Secret Of The Mimic. Fazbear Fanverse Games are also canon as well, aside from Flumpty's for very obvious reasons. Everything has been worked out to make sure these games do not overlap each other in any way shape or form and that they all are smoothly and coherently connected to one another. Now in terms of books, the only one that will be canon is The Week Before. This may change and there will be a post about it if so, but as of right now, only The Week Before is canon. The movie, Fazbear Frights, or Tales From The PizzaPlex, is not canon.

Returning characters and brand new ones!! That's right, you will see all the familiar faces, William Afton, Henry Emily, Fritz Smith, Jeremy Fitzgerald, everyone you know and love will be here. There will also be brand new faces! OC's will be here and may sometimes be important but will also probably sometimes not be important. It really depends on the role of the character, can't wait for you to meet all of them, returning and old : D.

References up the ass. Many such references to many popular characters from the books, the movies, and even other fangames not apart of the Fazbear Fanverse. If you want to see some TRTF references, this AU is for you. Do you want to see Wario's Fast Food Factory from Five Nights At Wario's? You can! Do you want to see Dormitabis characters be shown and talked about? I am the only one who probably cares about it but yes!!!!

AU posts will hopefully feature art and even large stories! I am excited to share this AU with you... when I feel better and I'm not sick. Hope you all are excited!!! : D

[drlawrencegordonmd]

One year SAWnniversary

One year ago today, I watched Saw for the first time. One year ago today my life changed forever.

There was a time in my life when I'd never EVER thought about checking out the Saw movies. I'd seen bits of trailers over the years and I swear I caught one of the movies on TV once, but it just never seemed like it was something I'd be interested in, so I never looked into it. I just moved on and never really thought about it until the Saw franchise would end up crossing my path again, so to speak, and the cycle would just repeat itself. I'd briefly acknowledge, 'oh yeah, that's a thing', and move on, never thinking about it beyond that.

But all that changed last year, around the time Saw X came out. I remember seeing trailers and TV spots for the movie and thinking, 'They're making another one, wow, how many is that now?'. I vaguely recall seeing trailers here and there over the years every time a new Saw movie came out, but like I said, it never seemed like something I'd be interested in, so I never gave it much thought.

Saw X, however, changed all that. By then I was curious, especially once I found out X was the tenth movie in the series, I can still recall the surprise I felt. Like, wow, I knew there were a bunch of Saw movies, but TEN?? That got me curious. For a franchise to go on this long, with that many movies in the series, there had to be something that kept people coming back, right?

So I decided, one year ago today, to watch the first Saw movie and see what all the fuss was about, to see if the hype was warrented.

That was a day that changed my life forever.

It might sound dramatic and even crazy to say that I fell in love with Saw, but I honestly can't think of another way to describe what that first viewing in particular made me feel. I just...fell in love. Not in a romantic way, of course, that WOULD be crazy. But I genuinely can't recall another time in my life when I felt such a deep emotional connection to a movie. And I'm a person who forges emotional connections with media pretty dang easily. Whether it be a TV show or movie as a whole or a particular character or two, I almost always feel an emotional connection in some way to whatever piece of media that currently has my attention.

But with Saw, it just felt different, deeper somehow. For reasons I still can't quite pinpoint to this day, the connection I felt to the first movie just hit different, in a way that nothing else has before or since. I quickly came to love the franchise as a whole with the first viewing of each sequel, I got more and more hooked with each one I watched, but it's the first movie that I have the deepest connection to and I think I always will.

I will forever remember the feeling of sitting right here at my desk as the final scenes played out, the best plot twist I've ever seen in my life happening before my eyes for the very first time. I will never forget my feelings in that moment.

And now here we are one year later and it feels like a whirlwind, the fact that it's already been one year since Saw came into my life.

The fact that I wasn't into the franchise for a whole month before I made this blog says something too. My favorite TV show of all time is The A-Team, it's the only other piece of media I can think of that I have a SUPER strong connection with, it's probably the only one that's even CLOSE to rivaling what I feel for Saw. I've loved that show for over 10 years. But do I have an entire blog dedicated to it? No, no I do not.

I started a blog dedicated to the Saw movies not even a month after getting into the fandom, but I don't have a blog dedicated to a show I've loved for the past 14 years. That's amazing to me. That alone shows me that the connection I have with Saw is different, beyond any connection I've felt with any other media I've ever been into in all my life.

Why that is I'm not sure. Saw is just special, it's become very important to me and I'm so glad I was able to make this blog dedicated to such a big part of my life.

I will forever be thankful that I decided to give Saw a chance, I wouldn't be writing this post right now, this blog wouldn't even exist if I hadn't decided one year ago today to make what turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.

So I guess I'll end this by saying that Saw will forever be super important to me and I will treasure my connection to this movie for the rest of my life.

[chosetherose]

Have we ever talked about Taylor's decision to dress up as Grace Kelly from Rear Window in the ME! music video? It's such an oddly specific choice I can't help but feel like there was a deeper meaning intended with it.

The movie is a thriller about a man confined to his apartment with a broken leg, who watches his neighbors and comes to suspect one of them has murdered his wife. He investigates with the help of two women - his nurse, Stella, and his high society haute couture model girlfriend. (Played by Grace Kelly.) Obviously Taylor has a model girlfriend, and the Lover era was her collaboration with Stella McCartney, so there are more than a few connections to be made. This idea of a crime no-one else sees repeats a lot in Taylor's work too, regarding what happened in 2019. And the Rear Window theme of observing people's lives through their windows appeared as recently as The Anthology.

What makes the whole thing even weirder is that Taylor claimed in 2020 that she'd been using the lockdown to watch old movies she'd never seen - and specifically claimed Rear Window was one of them. That seems unlikely, if she'd referenced it in her art a year before. Maybe this was another instance of Taylor trying to show her fans she tells lies? (Ahead of the whole William Bowery / JA debacle.) Or maybe she wanted people to pay attention to Rear Window for a reason?

Another 50's film referenced in ME! video is Singin' In The Rain, which doesn't feel like an accident either. That one is about a silent film actor struggling to make the transition to "talkies". Everyone thinks he's in a romance with his costar, but it's all PR and he can't stand her. He actually falls in love with a woman whose car he randomly jumps into to make a getaway.

It's hard not to think these references are unintentional. I can't ignore how Taylor kept returning to the themes of Paris and The Wizard of Oz in her work after this either. I don't know. I don't have any clear thoughts, I just wondered if the fandom had talked about it, or if anyone else had a theory? So much of the Lover era was lost and altered, so maybe we'll never know. But it's interesting to think about. ME! was so campy, and poorly received by those who didn't get it, but I think people miss the deeper meanings hidden in it.

I definitely remember people talking about Rear Window! There was some good posts on it. But I don’t think they were on my blog and I can’t find them at the moment.

Lots of food for thought in your ask. My brain is running on low power mode rn but posting this so others can give it a think! If anything sparks me later, I’ll come back.

Thanks, Anon!